“Gather round, dear investors, and hear all about
The worst IPO that has ever come out”
Yesterday I dissected the three main reasons why people lost money in Groupon ($GRPN) here on the site. I do this because I think it is more helpful to investors than 99% of the “content” being published and because in the writing, I am able to clarify my own thoughts and discover what it is that I actually believe right alongside the reader.
I got a bit of criticism for coming off as a bit of a Monday morning quarterback re: GRPN so I thought I’d dust off this lost classic from last October, published on the eve of Groupon’s IPO. Yes, I have begun pompously referring to my own posts as “lost classics,” what do you want from me? – JB
***
Groupoem (or an IPO for the ages)
Gather round, dear investors, and hear all about
The worst IPO that has ever come out
It’s hitting this week if the stars align right
But only the foolish would look for a bite
For Groupon is now past the peak of its glory
Its promising start a well-known story
Of youthful intensity, vision and zeal
Of crafting the perfect consumer-led deal
City by city, Groupon grew like a weed
Positioned as marketing for the small biz in need
Coupons for shoes and coupons for socks
Offers for Lasik and half-off on Crocs
Then Google came calling, six bil on the table
But Groupon bought into their very own fable
The emails would issue from CEO Mason
“Hang on tight,” Andrew said, “our competitors are chasin'”
So onward and upward the company went
Taking in money that it promptly spent
The trick was to pay merchants sixty days late
Which gave Groupon money and time to inflate
The accountants concluded the scheme was impaired
Sure they were grumpy – but they also were scared
“A ponzi,” they called it, “it can’t be sustained!”
“If they run out of room to expand they’ll be drained!”
And one other headwind we also should mention
The social offers crown is still in contention
Both Amazon and Google desire to play
Good luck keeping those two rottweilers at bay
The first IPO filing was put back on the shelf
A value of thirty billion soon became twelve
And as Groupon embarked on its period of quiet
A leaked memo from Mason created a riot
The regulators didn’t find any of this funny
The rules get much stricter when you’re trying to raise money
Poor Andrew was learning a lesson for sure
Being boyish and charming wouldn’t help him no more
So with shady accounting and rivals galore
Groupon now brings its stock to the floor
Sixteen to eighteen per share is the word
With a float so constrained it’s completely absurd
Less than five percent of Groupon shares will go pub
An insulting debut, why that’s barely a stub!
They’ll create quite a show with this scarcity bait
The intentions are clear, to manipulate
By producing a noteworthy opening pop
The underwriters get to market their shop
So Facebook and others will watch and learn
Which bankers to hire when it’s finally their turn
In the meantime the VCs in Groupon are thrilled
Their exit is coming, the champagne is chilled
A too-close encounter with death is postponed
While retail investors line up to get boned
The next Demand Media or LinkedIn perhaps
And look how it fell right into their laps!
They’ll buy that first day as up-stocks attract cash
While the insiders prepare to make their last dash
Mason will get his chance to be boss
At a big public company, come profit or loss
And all will be well on The Street named Wall
As the bankers await Mr. Zuckerberg’s call
– Downtown Josh Brown, October 30th 2011
Read Also:
The Netflix and the Blockbuster by Lewis Carroll (TRB)
دوربین
Quite! This has been a really wonderful post. Thanks for supplying this info.
تبلیغ در گوگل ادوردز
Hey! I know this is somewhat off subject but I was wondering which blog system are you employing for this site? I’m receiving sick and fatigued of WordPress since I have had difficulties with hackers and I’m hunting at options for another platform. I w…
خرید کولر صنعتی
Hi would you mind stating which weblog platform you’re operating with? I’m arranging to commence my possess blog shortly but I’m having a hard time selecting in between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The cause I question is because your d…
how to sell sites
[…]check beneath, are some completely unrelated websites to ours, on the other hand, they’re most trustworthy sources that we use[…]
دوربین
One was designed only for demonstrating seconds and tiny while a various 1 making use of moment graduations is made for implying hours.
خرید کولر صنعتی
Quite! This has been a genuinely great post. Many thanks for providing this information.
خرید کولر صنعتی
The information pointed out inside of the report are some of the most successful accessible.
سیستم حفاظتی
Really when a person does not be mindful of afterward its up to other viewers that they will assist, so listed here it happens.
تبلیغ در گوگل ادوردز
Hey! I know this is somewhat off subject but I was questioning which blog platform are you employing for this web site? I’m acquiring sick and drained of WordPress simply because I have had problems with hackers and I’m searching at choices for an addi…
خرید دوربین مدار بسته
despite the fact that web sites we backlink to below are noticeably not related to ours, we really feel they are really really value a go by way of, so have a search
vpn ایفون
Hi would you brain letting me know which webhost you’re employing? I’ve loaded your weblog in three fully diverse browsers and I have to say this blog hundreds a good deal faster then most. Can you suggest a very good web hosting company at a honest va…
خرید دوربین مدار بسته
The info described inside the report are some of the most successful accessible.
سیستم حفاظتی
Appreciating the time and hard work you place into your blog and thorough information you provide. It’s fantastic to appear across a website every single when in a although that isn’t the very same unwanted rehashed details. Great read through! I’ve sa…
تبلیغ در گوگل ادوردز
we arrived throughout a amazing web site which you could value. Get a seem when you want
خرید دوربین مدار بسته
We completely really like your blog and discover nearly all of your post’s to be what precisely I’m hunting for. Does one particular provide visitor writers to publish material for you? I wouldn’t thoughts creating a publish or elaborating on a lot of…