The Somali Pirate Takes Manhattan!

Photo from AP

Photo from AP

This has FARCE written all over it…

From the New York Times:
A Somali teenager has arrived to face what are believed to be the first piracy charges in the United States in more than a century…Abduhl Wali-i-Musi, the sole surviving Somali pirate from the hostage-taking of an American ship captain, was handcuffed with a chain wrapped around his waist and about a dozen federal agents surrounded him.

We’re going to try a 16 year old in one of the highest courts in the land who most likely can’t read, write or figure out where in the world he is with a map.  This is like holding a trial for a shark that attacks a surfer, or handing down a grand jury indictment for a dog that bites a mailman.  I’m not saying leave the kid unpunished, but come on!

Fortunately, I was able to get a copy of the Somali Pirate’s itinerary for the rest of his New York City visit.  Here’s a quick look at how he will spend his allotted time here in the Big Apple:

Day 1

10 am: Show-trial for piracy charge.

2 pm:  Post-appearance huddle with defense attorney Captain Jack Sparrow Esq.

4 pm:  Tour of the USS Intrepid (must fight urge to take ship)

6 pm:  Dinner at TBD location (Black Pearl on 26th Street now closed)

Day 2

9 am:  Breakfast at Balthazar (little known fact, pirates loooove brioche french toast)

11 am: South Street Seaport (must fight urge to take hostages at Sunglass Hut)

2 pm:  Jersey Boys matinee at the August Wilson Theater!

6 pm:  Post-show dinner in the district at Carmine’s, if plastic silverware only request can be accommodated.

Day 3

10 am:  Sleeping in, breakfast in bed at the W Hotel Union Square.

11 am:  Express checkout, Uncle Sam picks up the tab…”Abduhl, you ordered Sorority Sweeties 3 eleven times?”

1 pm:   Lunch at the Central Park Boathouse, “They want $28 for the grilled yellowfin tuna?  That’s highway robbery!”  (Boats everywhere, still fighting the urge to commandeer something…)

4 pm:  JFK International Departures Terminal, awaiting flight home courtesy Obama administration’s intervention.  Promised never to participate in piracy again.  Still holding found $20 bill in pocket, upon arrival, will be wealthiest citizen in entire country of Somalia.  “I Love New York.”

Full Story: Somali Pirate Arrives in New York City (NYT)

Read Also: The Truth About the Somali Pirates

Tags: , , , ,

This content, which contains security-related opinions and/or information, is provided for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon in any manner as professional advice, or an endorsement of any practices, products or services. There can be no guarantees or assurances that the views expressed here will be applicable for any particular facts or circumstances, and should not be relied upon in any manner. You should consult your own advisers as to legal, business, tax, and other related matters concerning any investment.

The commentary in this “post” (including any related blog, podcasts, videos, and social media) reflects the personal opinions, viewpoints, and analyses of the Ritholtz Wealth Management employees providing such comments, and should not be regarded the views of Ritholtz Wealth Management LLC. or its respective affiliates or as a description of advisory services provided by Ritholtz Wealth Management or performance returns of any Ritholtz Wealth Management Investments client.

References to any securities or digital assets, or performance data, are for illustrative purposes only and do not constitute an investment recommendation or offer to provide investment advisory services. Charts and graphs provided within are for informational purposes solely and should not be relied upon when making any investment decision. Past performance is not indicative of future results. The content speaks only as of the date indicated. Any projections, estimates, forecasts, targets, prospects, and/or opinions expressed in these materials are subject to change without notice and may differ or be contrary to opinions expressed by others.

Wealthcast Media, an affiliate of Ritholtz Wealth Management, receives payment from various entities for advertisements in affiliated podcasts, blogs and emails. Inclusion of such advertisements does not constitute or imply endorsement, sponsorship or recommendation thereof, or any affiliation therewith, by the Content Creator or by Ritholtz Wealth Management or any of its employees. Investments in securities involve the risk of loss. For additional advertisement disclaimers see here:

Please see disclosures here.

What's been said:

Discussions found on the web
  1. Devops commented on Feb 07

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on that Topic: […]