Pandit's Bandits: a Memo to Citigroup's Sponsored Little League Team


Internal Memorandum

To: Global Little League Group, Tee Ball Training Staff, Equipment Management Department, Pandit’s Bandits Players and Personnel

Subject: Spring Training – Budget Cutbacks to be Enforced Immediately, Fundraising Expected of all Players


Date: January 30, 2009

Dear Pandit’s Bandits Players and Personnel,

It is with a heavy heart that I must announce my absence for the majority of the upcoming Spring Training season to you, my favorite mini-employees of Citigroup.  Our sponsorship of the Pandit’s Bandits little league team has brought all of us here at Citi much joy in these dark times of accountability and prudence.

This season, there will be several “downside modifications” to the team’s budget in order to better align our expenditures with the current environment.  Please note that the following changes are effective immediately:

Item 1: Transportation to away games will henceforth be conducted via bus.  Please have your moms or dads stop by the tarmac at Teterboro to collect any belongings that you may have left on the team jet

Item 2: This year’s uniforms will be not be hand-tailored or bespoke, so please email the equipment manager with one of the following generic sizes: S, M, L, XL

Item 3: Be advised that Michael “Let’s Get Ready to Rumble” Buffer will no longer be available to announce players before games as we were unable to meet his quote

Item 4: Hitting instruction will now take place at the Astoria Indoor Batting Range in Long Island City as opposed to our weekly appropriation of Yankee Stadium

Item 5: Please inform all parents and grandparents that the home game menu has changed.  New menu items include hot dogs, peanuts and Crackerjacks.  Complementary foie gras burgers, white truffle-topped pizzas, and beluga crepes with creme fraiche and mother-of-pearl spoons will no longer be served in the stands

In addition to these adjustments to our budget, we ask that all players stop by Citi Headquarters to pick up their case of Peanut M&M’s.  Any player who is not able to sell out all M&M stock by game day, will not be permitted to take the field.  We have observed numerous Little Leaguers throughout the city selling Peanut M&M’s to raise money for their teams and we expect the same of our boys.  We’re counting on you all.

We appreciate your cooperation in these difficult times and hope that you will bring home yet another winning record for all of us at Citi Corporate, as victories around here have been very rare of late.  I hope to be able to join the team at the earliest possible date and I long for the opportunity to deliver to all players my usual round of hair tousling and (non-threatening) rump slapping as you take the field to make us proud.

Go Get ‘Em, Team!


Vikram Pandit
Chief Executive Officer
Citigroup Inc.
399 Park Avenue
New York, New York 10022
(212) 555 5555

What's been said:

Discussions found on the web
  1. Zeitarbeitsfirma Pflege Ploen commented on Sep 15

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here on that Topic: […]

  2. Immediate Edge Review commented on Sep 21

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More here on that Topic: […]

  3. pinewswire commented on Sep 23

    … [Trackback]

    […] Information to that Topic: […]

  4. immediate edge commented on Oct 04

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here on that Topic: […]

  5. 사설토토 commented on Oct 16

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you can find 5579 additional Info to that Topic: […]

  6. jasa video animasi commented on Nov 24

    … [Trackback]

    […] Here you will find 30609 more Information to that Topic: […]

  7. Devops commented on Dec 10

    … [Trackback]

    […] Info on that Topic: […]

  8. فيسبوك تسجيل الدخول commented on Dec 19

    … [Trackback]

    […] Here you will find 32657 more Information on that Topic: […]

  9. 안전토토사이트 commented on Dec 22

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More Info here to that Topic: […]