Citigroup's Greatest, Bestest, Most Wonderfullest Quarter Ever (since 2007)

Comeback Kid?

Comeback Kid?

Oh, Vikram. Can it be true? Are you really rolling and pushing the bloated, rotting whale corpse that is Citigroup slowly back into the ocean and thus, back to life?

From the New York Times:
Citigroup reported first-quarter net income of $1.6 billion, after posting a loss of $5.11 billion in the period a year earlier. Revenue was $24.8 billion, up 99 percent. “We are pleased with our performance.,” the chief executive, Vikram Pandit, said in a statement. “With revenues of nearly $25 billion and net income of $1.6 billion, we had our best overall quarter since the second quarter of 2007.”

Awwwww, Hell Yeah! Best Quarter Ever… since that time 2 years ago when we totally didn’t, ya know, suck.

Yes, there was a one-time gain recorded of $2.5 billion due to an accounting change, yes the government had to give Citigroup last-resort rescue money 3 times totaling 10’s of billions of dollars and yes, Vikram has had to whack out whole lines of business and thousands of employees to stay afloat. And ok, also, Citi ended up taking a loss on the hedge fund they bought from Vikram for hundreds of millions at the top of the hedge fund bubble…but they did get Vikram out of the deal, so whatev’s!

Despite all of this, you know what? Good for him. Fix this disaster and pay back the taxpayers.

I couldn’t care less about Citigroup the company, but the sooner they are able to repay the TARP, the better we’ll all be.

If one more person sends me that super-lame Tea Party video with the fruitbat dressed as Thomas Paine, I’m going to pull my hair out of my head. Dude, pantaloons, really? Why is this high school history teacher with drama club proclivities lecturing me on taxation?

But I digress…

Most of my peer financial bloggers will tear into this report from Citi and heap abuse on the company, its quarterly report, and its mama too.

Not me. I just want the economy to stabilize. Then we can figure out how to pay off the debt burden.

Besides, I’ve already done a number on Uncle Vik:

I Will Survive by Vikram Pandit

Pandit’s Bandits Little League Team

Full Story: Citigroup Said It Had Best Quarter

Tea Party Fruitbat: Thomas Paine

Full Disclosure: I have no positions in C for personal or client accounts