“Gather round, dear investors, and hear all about
The worst IPO that has ever come out”
Yesterday I dissected the three main reasons why people lost money in Groupon ($GRPN) here on the site. I do this because I think it is more helpful to investors than 99% of the “content” being published and because in the writing, I am able to clarify my own thoughts and discover what it is that I actually believe right alongside the reader.
I got a bit of criticism for coming off as a bit of a Monday morning quarterback re: GRPN so I thought I’d dust off this lost classic from last October, published on the eve of Groupon’s IPO. Yes, I have begun pompously referring to my own posts as “lost classics,” what do you want from me? – JB
***
Groupoem (or an IPO for the ages)
Gather round, dear investors, and hear all about
The worst IPO that has ever come out
It’s hitting this week if the stars align right
But only the foolish would look for a bite
For Groupon is now past the peak of its glory
Its promising start a well-known story
Of youthful intensity, vision and zeal
Of crafting the perfect consumer-led deal
City by city, Groupon grew like a weed
Positioned as marketing for the small biz in need
Coupons for shoes and coupons for socks
Offers for Lasik and half-off on Crocs
Then Google came calling, six bil on the table
But Groupon bought into their very own fable
The emails would issue from CEO Mason
“Hang on tight,” Andrew said, “our competitors are chasin'”
So onward and upward the company went
Taking in money that it promptly spent
The trick was to pay merchants sixty days late
Which gave Groupon money and time to inflate
The accountants concluded the scheme was impaired
Sure they were grumpy – but they also were scared
“A ponzi,” they called it, “it can’t be sustained!”
“If they run out of room to expand they’ll be drained!”
And one other headwind we also should mention
The social offers crown is still in contention
Both Amazon and Google desire to play
Good luck keeping those two rottweilers at bay
The first IPO filing was put back on the shelf
A value of thirty billion soon became twelve
And as Groupon embarked on its period of quiet
A leaked memo from Mason created a riot
The regulators didn’t find any of this funny
The rules get much stricter when you’re trying to raise money
Poor Andrew was learning a lesson for sure
Being boyish and charming wouldn’t help him no more
So with shady accounting and rivals galore
Groupon now brings its stock to the floor
Sixteen to eighteen per share is the word
With a float so constrained it’s completely absurd
Less than five percent of Groupon shares will go pub
An insulting debut, why that’s barely a stub!
They’ll create quite a show with this scarcity bait
The intentions are clear, to manipulate
By producing a noteworthy opening pop
The underwriters get to market their shop
So Facebook and others will watch and learn
Which bankers to hire when it’s finally their turn
In the meantime the VCs in Groupon are thrilled
Their exit is coming, the champagne is chilled
A too-close encounter with death is postponed
While retail investors line up to get boned
The next Demand Media or LinkedIn perhaps
And look how it fell right into their laps!
They’ll buy that first day as up-stocks attract cash
While the insiders prepare to make their last dash
Mason will get his chance to be boss
At a big public company, come profit or loss
And all will be well on The Street named Wall
As the bankers await Mr. Zuckerberg’s call
– Downtown Josh Brown, October 30th 2011
Read Also:
The Netflix and the Blockbuster by Lewis Carroll (TRB)
survey club
[…]we came across a cool web-site that you may enjoy. Take a appear if you want[…]
video maza zone
[…]Here is an excellent Blog You might Obtain Fascinating that we Encourage You[…]
Illuminati
[…]here are some hyperlinks to web sites that we link to due to the fact we believe they may be really worth visiting[…]
matka result
[…]although sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we really feel they are actually really worth a go by means of, so possess a look[…]
jageze
[…]very couple of internet sites that transpire to be detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly very well worth checking out[…]
New Construction South Florida
[…]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a couple of unrelated data, nonetheless seriously worth taking a search, whoa did 1 find out about Mid East has got additional problerms too […]
Do you feel alone? Come to chat with new people. http://www.oCity.NET
[…]that may be the finish of this post. Here youll locate some web pages that we think youll enjoy, just click the hyperlinks over[…]
Free SEO Submitter
[…]please take a look at the sites we adhere to, including this 1, because it represents our picks from the web[…]
One way link building
[…]very few sites that happen to become comprehensive below, from our point of view are undoubtedly well really worth checking out[…]
key words Costa Rica dental
[…]Here is a good Blog You may Come across Exciting that we Encourage You[…]
silver Sterling value
[…]we like to honor quite a few other online internet sites on the net, even though they arent linked to us, by linking to them. Underneath are some webpages really worth checking out[…]
Psychic Christopher Golden
[…]The information mentioned inside the article are some of the most beneficial readily available […]
today
[…]usually posts some quite fascinating stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]
nagasaki war attack
[…]here are some hyperlinks to sites that we link to simply because we assume they are really worth visiting[…]
cursos online gratuitos
[…]please stop by the websites we comply with, like this one, because it represents our picks in the web[…]