Groupoem (or an IPO for the ages)
Gather round, dear investors, and hear all about
The worst IPO that has ever come out
It’s hitting this week if the stars align right
But only the foolish would look for a bite
For Groupon is now past the peak of its glory
Its promising start a well-known story
Of youthful intensity, vision and zeal
Of crafting the perfect consumer-led deal
City by city, Groupon grew like a weed
Positioned as marketing for the small biz in need
Coupons for shoes and coupons for socks
Offers for Lasik and half-off on Crocs
Then Google came calling, six bil on the table
But Groupon bought into their very own fable
The emails would issue from CEO Mason
“Hang on tight,” Andrew said, “our competitors are chasin'”
So onward and upward the company went
Taking in money that it promptly spent
The trick was to pay merchants sixty days late
Which gave Groupon money and time to inflate
The accountants concluded the scheme was impaired
Sure they were grumpy – but they also were scared
“A ponzi,” they called it, “it can’t be sustained!”
“If they run out of room to expand they’ll be drained!”
And one other headwind we also should mention
The social offers crown is still in contention
Both Amazon and Google desire to play
Good luck keeping those two rottweilers at bay
The first IPO filing was put back on the shelf
A value of thirty billion soon became twelve
And as Groupon embarked on its period of quiet
A leaked memo from Mason created a riot
The regulators didn’t find any of this funny
The rules get much stricter when you’re trying to raise money
Poor Andrew was learning a lesson for sure
Being boyish and charming wouldn’t help him no more
So with shady accounting and rivals galore
Groupon now brings its stock to the floor
Sixteen to eighteen per share is the word
With a float so constrained it’s completely absurd
Less than five percent of Groupon shares will go pub
An insulting debut, why that’s barely a stub!
They’ll create quite a show with this scarcity bait
The intentions are clear, to manipulate
By producing a noteworthy opening pop
The underwriters get to market their shop
So Facebook and others will watch and learn
Which bankers to hire when it’s finally their turn
In the meantime the VCs in Groupon are thrilled
Their exit is coming, the champagne is chilled
A too-close encounter with death is postponed
While retail investors line up to get boned
The next Demand Media or LinkedIn perhaps
And look how it fell right into their laps!
They’ll buy that first day as up-stocks attract cash
While the insiders prepare to make their last dash
Mason will get his chance to be boss
At a big public company, come profit or loss
And all will be well on The Street named Wall
As the bankers await Mr. Zuckerberg’s call
– Downtown Josh Brown, October 30th 2011
Read Also:
The Netflix and the Blockbuster by Lewis Carroll (TRB)
healthy nutrition facts
[…]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]
realistic dildos
[…]usually posts some quite fascinating stuff like this. If youre new to this site[…]
خرید کولر صنعتی
With regard to ergonomics and the superior technilogy Heuer replica watches have been the amazing samples of sports watches.
خرید دوربین مدار بسته
Greetings from Florida! I’m bored to dying at perform so I determined to verify out your website on my apple iphone in the course of lunch split. I enjoy the details you supply right here and simply cannot wait around to take a look when I get property…
خرید طلا
It is likely to be stop of mine day, nevertheless before complete I am reading this superb put up to enhance my experience.
CCTV installer Wolverhampton
[…]we like to honor quite a few other internet sites around the internet, even if they arent linked to us, by linking to them. Beneath are some webpages really worth checking out[…]
dildo that cum
[…]please visit the web pages we comply with, like this 1, as it represents our picks through the web[…]
lubricant review
[…]Here is a great Blog You may Uncover Exciting that we Encourage You[…]
سیستم حفاظتی
What is up it’s me, I am also visiting this internet site on a normal basis, this internet site is truly pleasurable and the viewers are in fact sharing excellent ideas.
sex toy butterfly
[…]Every as soon as in a though we choose blogs that we read. Listed below are the most current internet sites that we opt for […]
activated alumina catalyst
[…]here are some links to websites that we link to mainly because we believe they may be worth visiting[…]
hp drivers
[…]that may be the end of this write-up. Right here you will obtain some web pages that we assume you will value, just click the hyperlinks over[…]
affiliate marketing
[…]The details mentioned inside the post are a few of the best offered […]
Pondicherry Government jobs
[…]always a big fan of linking to bloggers that I love but dont get a whole lot of link really like from[…]
iphone repair
[…]here are some hyperlinks to websites that we link to since we believe they are really worth visiting[…]