Groupoem (or an IPO for the ages)
Gather round, dear investors, and hear all about
The worst IPO that has ever come out
It’s hitting this week if the stars align right
But only the foolish would look for a bite
For Groupon is now past the peak of its glory
Its promising start a well-known story
Of youthful intensity, vision and zeal
Of crafting the perfect consumer-led deal
City by city, Groupon grew like a weed
Positioned as marketing for the small biz in need
Coupons for shoes and coupons for socks
Offers for Lasik and half-off on Crocs
Then Google came calling, six bil on the table
But Groupon bought into their very own fable
The emails would issue from CEO Mason
“Hang on tight,” Andrew said, “our competitors are chasin'”
So onward and upward the company went
Taking in money that it promptly spent
The trick was to pay merchants sixty days late
Which gave Groupon money and time to inflate
The accountants concluded the scheme was impaired
Sure they were grumpy – but they also were scared
“A ponzi,” they called it, “it can’t be sustained!”
“If they run out of room to expand they’ll be drained!”
And one other headwind we also should mention
The social offers crown is still in contention
Both Amazon and Google desire to play
Good luck keeping those two rottweilers at bay
The first IPO filing was put back on the shelf
A value of thirty billion soon became twelve
And as Groupon embarked on its period of quiet
A leaked memo from Mason created a riot
The regulators didn’t find any of this funny
The rules get much stricter when you’re trying to raise money
Poor Andrew was learning a lesson for sure
Being boyish and charming wouldn’t help him no more
So with shady accounting and rivals galore
Groupon now brings its stock to the floor
Sixteen to eighteen per share is the word
With a float so constrained it’s completely absurd
Less than five percent of Groupon shares will go pub
An insulting debut, why that’s barely a stub!
They’ll create quite a show with this scarcity bait
The intentions are clear, to manipulate
By producing a noteworthy opening pop
The underwriters get to market their shop
So Facebook and others will watch and learn
Which bankers to hire when it’s finally their turn
In the meantime the VCs in Groupon are thrilled
Their exit is coming, the champagne is chilled
A too-close encounter with death is postponed
While retail investors line up to get boned
The next Demand Media or LinkedIn perhaps
And look how it fell right into their laps!
They’ll buy that first day as up-stocks attract cash
While the insiders prepare to make their last dash
Mason will get his chance to be boss
At a big public company, come profit or loss
And all will be well on The Street named Wall
As the bankers await Mr. Zuckerberg’s call
– Downtown Josh Brown, October 30th 2011
Read Also:
The Netflix and the Blockbuster by Lewis Carroll (TRB)
thrusting vibrator
[…]just beneath, are several completely not connected web-sites to ours, however, they’re certainly worth going over[…]
adult toys
[…]just beneath, are a lot of totally not related internet sites to ours, even so, they’re certainly worth going over[…]
comedy
[…]usually posts some incredibly fascinating stuff like this. If youre new to this site[…]
sex toys
[…]Here is an excellent Blog You may Uncover Exciting that we Encourage You[…]
male vacuum pump
[…]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a couple of unrelated data, nevertheless actually worth taking a look, whoa did one understand about Mid East has got more problerms as well […]
adam and eve sex toy shop
[…]below you will locate the link to some internet sites that we consider you must visit[…]
szybka chwilowka
[…]usually posts some very intriguing stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]
dr. dickmann
[…]although websites we backlink to below are considerably not associated to ours, we really feel they’re in fact worth a go via, so have a look[…]
photography
[…]below youll find the link to some web sites that we believe you’ll want to visit[…]
natural remedies a cold
[…]we came across a cool website that you may possibly take pleasure in. Take a look in case you want[…]
Download 300-470-CLDAUT Certification Dumps
[…]here are some hyperlinks to web-sites that we link to mainly because we assume they are really worth visiting[…]
mobile forex app
[…]The information and facts talked about in the post are some of the most beneficial offered […]
Advertise Online
[…]very few internet sites that transpire to become detailed beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively really worth checking out[…]
mechanical keyboard
[…]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated information, nevertheless truly worth taking a search, whoa did one particular discover about Mid East has got far more problerms also […]
Google
Here is a superb Blog You may Locate Intriguing that we encourage you to visit.