Groupoem (or an IPO for the ages)
Gather round, dear investors, and hear all about
The worst IPO that has ever come out
It’s hitting this week if the stars align right
But only the foolish would look for a bite
For Groupon is now past the peak of its glory
Its promising start a well-known story
Of youthful intensity, vision and zeal
Of crafting the perfect consumer-led deal
City by city, Groupon grew like a weed
Positioned as marketing for the small biz in need
Coupons for shoes and coupons for socks
Offers for Lasik and half-off on Crocs
Then Google came calling, six bil on the table
But Groupon bought into their very own fable
The emails would issue from CEO Mason
“Hang on tight,” Andrew said, “our competitors are chasin'”
So onward and upward the company went
Taking in money that it promptly spent
The trick was to pay merchants sixty days late
Which gave Groupon money and time to inflate
The accountants concluded the scheme was impaired
Sure they were grumpy – but they also were scared
“A ponzi,” they called it, “it can’t be sustained!”
“If they run out of room to expand they’ll be drained!”
And one other headwind we also should mention
The social offers crown is still in contention
Both Amazon and Google desire to play
Good luck keeping those two rottweilers at bay
The first IPO filing was put back on the shelf
A value of thirty billion soon became twelve
And as Groupon embarked on its period of quiet
A leaked memo from Mason created a riot
The regulators didn’t find any of this funny
The rules get much stricter when you’re trying to raise money
Poor Andrew was learning a lesson for sure
Being boyish and charming wouldn’t help him no more
So with shady accounting and rivals galore
Groupon now brings its stock to the floor
Sixteen to eighteen per share is the word
With a float so constrained it’s completely absurd
Less than five percent of Groupon shares will go pub
An insulting debut, why that’s barely a stub!
They’ll create quite a show with this scarcity bait
The intentions are clear, to manipulate
By producing a noteworthy opening pop
The underwriters get to market their shop
So Facebook and others will watch and learn
Which bankers to hire when it’s finally their turn
In the meantime the VCs in Groupon are thrilled
Their exit is coming, the champagne is chilled
A too-close encounter with death is postponed
While retail investors line up to get boned
The next Demand Media or LinkedIn perhaps
And look how it fell right into their laps!
They’ll buy that first day as up-stocks attract cash
While the insiders prepare to make their last dash
Mason will get his chance to be boss
At a big public company, come profit or loss
And all will be well on The Street named Wall
As the bankers await Mr. Zuckerberg’s call
– Downtown Josh Brown, October 30th 2011
Read Also:
The Netflix and the Blockbuster by Lewis Carroll (TRB)
juicer glass dildo
[…]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]
auto lace
[…]although web sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not connected to ours, we feel they may be truly really worth a go by way of, so have a look[…]
脱毛
[…]although websites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we feel they may be really worth a go by way of, so possess a look[…]
Fairfield taxi to Sacramento airport
[…]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated data, nevertheless genuinely worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got far more problerms too […]
خرید ، فروش دوربین مدار بسته
Do you have a spam dilemma on this blog I also am a blogger, and I was seeking to know your circumstance we have produced some good procedures and we are searching to swap approaches with other individuals, be positive to shoot me an electronic mail if…
gay man toy
[…]The information talked about within the write-up are a number of the top readily available […]
lesbian double dildo
[…]we like to honor a lot of other net web pages on the web, even if they arent linked to us, by linking to them. Underneath are some webpages really worth checking out[…]
lesbian dongs
[…]we prefer to honor a lot of other web sites around the web, even though they arent linked to us, by linking to them. Beneath are some webpages really worth checking out[…]
خرید ، فروش دوربین مدار بسته
Hey, I feel your site may possibly be having browser compatibility troubles. When I appear at your site in Chrome, it appears fine but when opening in Net Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just desired to give you a rapid heads up! Other then that,…
chennai news
[…]one of our guests lately encouraged the following website[…]
Best Kona Coffee Online
The Best Kona Coffee took 16 centuries to arrive Online. The best Kona coffee online is still brewed as a drink prepared from the Kona roasted cherry.
kona coffee online
The best Kona Coffee took 16 centuries to arrive Online. Kona Coffee originated from the Arabica tree discovered 5th century although roast coffees best medicinal properties were not discovered until late 14th century A.D.
VU+
[…]the time to study or visit the material or web sites we’ve linked to below the[…]
suction cup vibrator
[…]below you will locate the link to some web sites that we feel you must visit[…]
bondage furniture
[…]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I like but do not get lots of link really like from[…]