Groupoem (or an IPO for the ages)
Gather round, dear investors, and hear all about
The worst IPO that has ever come out
It’s hitting this week if the stars align right
But only the foolish would look for a bite
For Groupon is now past the peak of its glory
Its promising start a well-known story
Of youthful intensity, vision and zeal
Of crafting the perfect consumer-led deal
City by city, Groupon grew like a weed
Positioned as marketing for the small biz in need
Coupons for shoes and coupons for socks
Offers for Lasik and half-off on Crocs
Then Google came calling, six bil on the table
But Groupon bought into their very own fable
The emails would issue from CEO Mason
“Hang on tight,” Andrew said, “our competitors are chasin'”
So onward and upward the company went
Taking in money that it promptly spent
The trick was to pay merchants sixty days late
Which gave Groupon money and time to inflate
The accountants concluded the scheme was impaired
Sure they were grumpy – but they also were scared
“A ponzi,” they called it, “it can’t be sustained!”
“If they run out of room to expand they’ll be drained!”
And one other headwind we also should mention
The social offers crown is still in contention
Both Amazon and Google desire to play
Good luck keeping those two rottweilers at bay
The first IPO filing was put back on the shelf
A value of thirty billion soon became twelve
And as Groupon embarked on its period of quiet
A leaked memo from Mason created a riot
The regulators didn’t find any of this funny
The rules get much stricter when you’re trying to raise money
Poor Andrew was learning a lesson for sure
Being boyish and charming wouldn’t help him no more
So with shady accounting and rivals galore
Groupon now brings its stock to the floor
Sixteen to eighteen per share is the word
With a float so constrained it’s completely absurd
Less than five percent of Groupon shares will go pub
An insulting debut, why that’s barely a stub!
They’ll create quite a show with this scarcity bait
The intentions are clear, to manipulate
By producing a noteworthy opening pop
The underwriters get to market their shop
So Facebook and others will watch and learn
Which bankers to hire when it’s finally their turn
In the meantime the VCs in Groupon are thrilled
Their exit is coming, the champagne is chilled
A too-close encounter with death is postponed
While retail investors line up to get boned
The next Demand Media or LinkedIn perhaps
And look how it fell right into their laps!
They’ll buy that first day as up-stocks attract cash
While the insiders prepare to make their last dash
Mason will get his chance to be boss
At a big public company, come profit or loss
And all will be well on The Street named Wall
As the bankers await Mr. Zuckerberg’s call
– Downtown Josh Brown, October 30th 2011
Read Also:
The Netflix and the Blockbuster by Lewis Carroll (TRB)
rabbit adult toy
[…]Every once inside a whilst we select blogs that we study. Listed beneath are the newest internet sites that we pick […]
bandiera Italia
[…]check below, are some totally unrelated websites to ours, on the other hand, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[…]
end of lease cleaning in Melbourne
[…]we prefer to honor many other online web-sites on the web, even though they arent linked to us, by linking to them. Below are some webpages really worth checking out[…]
kala jadu
[…]Here is a superb Weblog You might Uncover Fascinating that we Encourage You[…]
Get the latest news and information on sports and championship events
[…]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]
adam and eve
[…]we came across a cool website which you may well appreciate. Take a appear if you want[…]
luxury sex toys
[…]usually posts some quite fascinating stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]
Magic Massager Deluxe
[…]although web-sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not connected to ours, we feel they may be in fact really worth a go as a result of, so have a look[…]
Butterfly Kiss Toy
[…]the time to read or take a look at the material or web sites we’ve linked to below the[…]
Clit Cream
[…]very couple of internet websites that happen to be comprehensive beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly nicely worth checking out[…]
Personal Massager
[…]The facts talked about in the write-up are a number of the very best out there […]
Realistic Vibrator
[…]please take a look at the internet sites we adhere to, such as this one particular, as it represents our picks in the web[…]
Super Head Honcho Masturbator
[…]very couple of internet websites that occur to be comprehensive below, from our point of view are undoubtedly very well really worth checking out[…]
vibrator lubricant
[…]although web-sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not associated to ours, we really feel they may be basically really worth a go via, so have a look[…]
Sripatum university
[…]usually posts some incredibly interesting stuff like this. If youre new to this site[…]