June 30th 2011
Dear M. Jean-Claude Trichet,
I am writing to you on behalf of all bloggers, tweeters, comment trolls and journalists throughout the financial web.
With the unfortunate deterioration of the Greek Crisis into a non-newsworthy state of semi-tranquility, we find ourselves concerned that the next country to implode may not be as fun for us. We are worried the next of your peripheral nation debt dominoes to topple will not have nearly as colorful a motif for us to riff on and be snarky about on the Twitter or in our headlines.
While we are aware that you are not necessarily in control of which Euro Zone country begins imploding next, we’d like to make the following request all the same:
Please see what you can do to make it Italy.
Here in the blogosphere, we’ve simply exhausted every possible pun, rhyme scheme, wisecrack and mythological reference to Greece that we could possibly come up with. They’ve all been done. Except maybe Pandora’s Shocks, no one’s done that one. But still…
What we ask of you is for a creative “shot in the arm”, so to speak. And no, Portugal and Hungary simply will not do. We have no idea why there’s even a Portugal to begin with nor do we have the foggiest idea what those heathens from Hungary actually eat – coming up with jokes for their debt crisis will involve way more time on Wikipedia than we’re interested in spending right now.
No, only Italy will scratch our itch. The food, the culture, the place names! We could do Italian debt crisis jokes seemingly forever! Or at least until you see fit to give us Spain.
So please, on behalf of the entire financial web, I ask that you do whatever is within your means to push Italian debt into the spotlight, posthaste. A grateful nation of economic crisis tourists thanks you in advance.