To: All EJGoliath Bancorp Employees
From: Sanders, Huntley
Date: Fri, October 08, 2010 – 3:17 PM ET
Subject: Company-Wide Foreclosure Moratorium
My Fellow EJGoliath Bancorp Employees:
I want to clear up a few misconceptions about today’s announcement that we are halting foreclosure sales in 49 states.
After meeting with the board and with our crisis control public relations consultant (and my niece), Jamie Gerwertz, I have decided that the most prudent course of action at this juncture is to halt all sales of foreclosed property. This moratorium will be in effect through November 4th or until such time that we can assure ourselves that we have any clue as to who owns what.
There will be some cynical commentators in the media who will say that the November expiration of our halt is timed so as to help us avoid a thrashing by politicians seeking to score points heading into the mid-terms. Let me state unconditionally that this is only partially the case.
Let me be clear that several other factors went into the timing decision for our foreclosure moratorium. These include the fact that we at EJGoliath are dedicated to upholding the standards of contract law. We do not wish to contribute to America’s moral hazard problem by allowing tardy or delinquent homeowners to remain indoors simply because of “legal title” confusion. This misplaced leniency on our part would only add to the epidemic of profligacy and moral decay in this great nation.
I should also remind you that the Mortgage Servicing/Loan Securitization group is scheduled to participate in EJGlobal’s annual Great Plains Buffalo Hunt Retreat in mid-November. This year’s retreat may be the company’s last as there has been a significant winnowing of the Buffalo herd as a result of an unfortunately exuberant massacre at last year’s event. It is very important that the MS/LS division gets back on track so as to be able to participate.
Regarding our decision to halt foreclosures in 49 states but leaving out Florida, it is our contention that mortgage holders in that state have been so irresponsible that they are still deserving of a Banker’s Wrath. In addition, our market research tells us that many of the homeowners we are scheduled to foreclose on in Florida fall into one of the following categories:
a) White collar criminals who have taken up residence in the state for the protections of the Homestead Act.
b) Senior citizens, the defenseless elderly or, what we at EJGoliath call The Ripe Ones.
c) Venezuelan “businessmen” who have chosen Miami to “handle their banking needs”.
d) Amateur condo flippers, real estate agents-turned-developers or late-night infomercial inspirees.
Florida can, must and will continue to be cleaned up by our internal foreclosure apparatus as well as our contracted operatives in the field. We see little reputational fallout from this as Americans are fairly sick of the state in general and its never-ending economic problems specifically.
Finally, I remind all employees that they are to remain, as always, cognizant about whom they discuss our internal policies with. EJGoliath has a zero-tolerance policy for any employees engaging in discussions with reporters, bloggers, spouses, parents, competitors, fellow employees, state and federal regulators, members of the clergy or video diaries. Please consult the attached PDF of our official Corporate Discretion Manual for a refresher.
Thank you for your perserverance during this, our umpteenth public relations hiccup. We are confident that the nation’s interest in our activities will subside as new iterations of The Real Housewives debut and the NFL season gets into full swing. Be patient and above all, be quiet.
Chief Executive Officer, EJGoliath Bancorp
666 Avenue of the Americas
New York NY 10029
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