Tomorrow's Business Headlines?


I’m not saying these hypothetical headlines are likely, but I also wouldn’t fall out of my chair if one of ’em popped up in some variation or another.

“JPMorgan’s Dimon Jealous Of AIG And Citi, Wants Back In To The TARP”

“Four Hundred Percent Of All Homeowners Underwater On Two Hundred Fifty Percent Of Their Mortgages”

“Metled Away: United States Citizens Completely Cleaned Out Of All Gold Jewelry”

“Rupert Murdoch To Begin Charging A ‘Share Fee’ To Anyone Linking To News Corp Content”

“Massachusetts AG Subpoenas Goldman Sachs Dry Cleaning Receipts”

“Google Launches Mind Control App”

“High Frequency Trading Algorithms Found To Cause¬† Cancer”

Just sayin…