Breaking News:

Washington D.C., Jul. 24, 2009 — The Federal Reserve announced today that its Board of Directors has declared a reverse stock split, at a 1 for 2 ratio for the US Dollar, effective August 1, 2009. As a result of the reverse split, every $2 of outstanding US currency will be changed into one Dollar. All fractional monies shall be rounded up to the nearest whole number. The Treasury currently has approximately $1.5 trillion paper dollars in circulation.

** Obviously a satirical announcement, don’t freak out!

H/T – J.C.