Overnight, as visions of philly cheesesteak fairies danced in my head, an email came into my mailbox that has completely changed my life.
As Forrest Gump said upon learning that he was rich, “Won’t have to worry about money anymore, so, ya know…one less thing.”
From my inbox:
You have been choosen by the U.N Foundation to receive a grant donation of$500,000.00USD.Your
Qualification Numbers(G-999-747, UZ-900-77), Contact Ewa Morgan with Name,address,country
United Nations Foundation.
So cool, you guys…I’m getting a “grant donation”, whatever that means, of 500K! I responded back and it seems that all I have to do is provide my name and some other simple stuff, like my social security #, bank account #, PIN #, date of birth and whatever. Easy!
Hopefully, my grant donation of half a mil is processed soon because upon receiving the email, I immediately put my new-found cash to work. I bought an elliptical machine for my living room, a third share of a Pinkberry franchise and 6 copies of the new Black Eyed Peas CD to stack up in my driveway and run over with my truck. So psyched.
Bear with me a moment while I go check my bank account online to see if the deposit came in yet….
Nope, not yet. Probably just the time difference. I’ve heard that the UN can be a little slow processing these type of payments so I’ll just be patient.
What? Am I concerned that the contact person on the email’s name is vaguely Nigerian? No way, I’m certain that “Ewa Morgan” is a big shot at the United Nations, probably paid his dues working under Kofi Annan.
What’s that? Why on earth would the UN just send me a check for 500 grand? Umm, I guess I was just under the assumption that they do this sort of thing around the world. Starting a new Pinkberry shop certainly adds jobs to the economy, they’d be crazy NOT giving me the money.
Anyway, I hope that each and every one of you, my loyal readers, finds yourself in the fortuitous position that I did this morning. May your Nigerian benefactor be only an email away.