Art Cashin’s New Years Poem

In case you missed it, my pal Art Cashin’s annual New Years poem came out the other day and the cleverness is overflowing, as always…

‘Tis the day before New Year’s
and despite what you’re hopin’
The folks in the Boardroom
say “the full day we’re open”

So we’ll buy and we’ll sell
as the tape crawls along
And though “Bubbly’s” verboten
we may still sing a song

Two Thousand Fourteen
was okay, not really a wow
Till a Santa Claus rally
took us through Eighteen Thou

We lost special people
as we seem to each year
It just makes us treasure
each one that’s still here

Robin Williams, so manic
snuffed out his own light
Mickey Rooney’s gone also
into Dylan’s Good Night

Joan Rivers departed
when a doctor slipped up
And Sid Caesar now sips
from a heavenly cup

James Garner, “Bret Maverick”
has played his last hand
Polly Bergen now sings
in an Angelic band

Eli Wallach needs no badges
he’s got wings, I’ve a hunch
Elaine Stritch found a new place
now with cherubs she’ll lunch

Hurricane Carter
has thrown his last punch
Ann B. Davis as “Alice”
no longer waits on the “Bunch”

Bacall, who could whistle
took her last curtain call
Philip Seymour Hoffman
is now just down the hall

Casey Kasem’s now listing
Top 40 harp songs
Mayor Barry departed
moving on past his wrongs

Mike Nichols graduated
to Mrs. Robinson’s place
Ruby Dee now also
fills heaven with grace

Ben Bradlee followed Nixon
for one final time
Maya Angelou tells St. Peter
her favorite new rhyme

Oscar De La Renta
designed his last gown
“Adam Smith” (Jerry Goodman)
he has also left town

The threat of Ebola
made everyone fear
‘So Time made health workers
their Man of the Year

Kim K bared her assets
glossed up till they shone
But most folks on the net shrugged
and left the whole thing alone

Some guy near the White House
hopped up over the wall
And since the door was unlocked
he just strolled down the hall

The ice bucket challenge
made some hairdos a mess
But it raised lots of money
to help fight ALS

In their Little League Series
one kid pitched a pearl
As a young lady showed us
how to “throw like a girl”

Polar Vortex froze business
The year started out rough
But when we got defrosted
things seemed to go well enough

There were shootings, then lootings
things kept turning bizarre
Until a mad man came North
to shoot two cops in a car

We saw ISIS beheadings
and car bombs galore
Sadly, three different airliners
got half way but no more

Brad wed Angelina
and George Clooney – Amal
But some folks like Don Sterling
could not find any pal

There were midterm elections
The GOP did quite well
Will that help them to govern?
It’s way too early to tell

Sony thought it terrific
and they’d have lots of fun
If they made a joke movie
in which they killed Kim Jung Un

Derek Jeter retired
one game at a time
In most states, gay marriage
is no longer a crime

The NFL fumbled
on domestic abuse
We didn’t see the whole tape
was their only excuse

Rolling Stone ran a story
that they later withdrew
And more women blamed Cosby
saying the press really knew

Gwyneth Paltrow “decoupled”
Taylor Swift told streamers “No!”
In the kid’s movie Frozen
Elsa sang “Let it go”

Let not this year’s memories
of sadness or sleaze
Disturb you this day
just give your heart ease

Have faith that this New Year
will bring a new sign
And believe in yourself
it will all work out fine

Just lift up your spirits
and some fruit of the vine
And kiss ye a loved one
and sing Auld Lange Syne

And late in the evening
as you watch the ball fall
Wish yourself all the best
Happy New Year to All!!

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