This Just In: Art Nadel, Where Art Thou? (updated)

Valhalla Investment Partners...Mythological Returns!

My, my, my…and I thought that all of these billionaire “money managers” actually earned the money they were wiping themselves with.  CNBC just posted an alert that Art Nadel of Sarasota, Florida-based Scoop Management Inc. and Valhalla Investments Partners LP is missing, according to his wife, who is “cooperating” with authorities.

Yes, I’m using a lot of “quotation marks” to indicate sarcasm, disgust, amazement etc.

According to CNBC, Sarasota police are currently conducting a “large-scale probe of a theft of invested assets”, but neither  Nadel nor Valhalla have been mentioned yet.  With the disappearance of Art Nadel now public knowledge, I’m sure those accusations will start to come fast and furious any day now.  The dollar figure rumored to be missing is only $350 million, making Nadel a real piker compared to Bernie.

This is especially eyebrow-raising in light of the recent attempts of several Ponzi scheme and financial fraud architects to evade capture or protect other family members when the jig was up.  For those keeping track, we’ve got the Madoff’s of NYC (how the rest of the family is still free is baffling), this Heritage clown from Indiana named Marcus Schrenker who couldn’t even slit his wrists correctly, and now this.  But I thought they were all geniuses!  I thought they were all legitimately making money no matter what the market did!

Say it ain’t so, Art!

If this does turn out to be fraud, then we also get a brand new cast of characters, just in case you were bored with the Fisher Kings (Mark and Andy Madoff), the wife who is as innocent and pure as the virgin snow (Ruth Madoff) and all the Fund of Funds enablers (too many to mention).  This time we get the wife, Peg Nadel, as well as a stepson named Geoff Quisenberry.

QUISENBERRY!

Here are some interesting questions…will anyone invest in a non-transparent vehicle without outside administrators ever again?  Will 2009 mark the re-emergence of the mutual fund as America’s vehicle of choice, despite the market-aligned performance?  Will Art attempt to fake a plane crash but leave the clam-shell door open like Schrenker?  Will he mail me a pair of mittens lined with diamonds while out on bail?

Stay Tuned!

Update:  Nadel is believed alive as per Reuters on the Evening of Sunday, January 18th.  His car was found at the Sarasota-Bradenton International Airport and the FBI is now involved in the hunt…it’s on like Donkey Kong.

Update 2 (January 20th):  CNBC is reporting that using phone records of calls to his wife Peg, Art Nadel has been tracked to the city of Slidell, Louisiana, a northeast suburb of New Orleans.  Run, baby, run.