The World Watches America’s Earnings Parade

Some global macro deliciousness via my pal Eric Peters of the Peters Capital Group:

“I’m the man,” said O, adjusting his cool blue tie, admiring himself, winking. “I’m the man,” his lip curled up into a presidential smile. “I’m the man.” And blowing a goodbye kiss into the mirror, spun on his heel, headed onstage. To a standing ovation. Global president’s tuned in, eager to hear Obama’s well-telegraphed pronouncement. Yanukovych slouched in his ornate Ukrainian throne, turning the wide-screen’s volume up to eleven, commanding his sycophants to shut up. You see, they’d been discussing Facebook’s beat. Its market cap hit $158bln; eightupling the $20bln market value of every publically traded company in the nation, and triumphantly surpassing Ukrainian GDP. That’s no small achievement. After all, Ukraine’s the size of France, and if properly run, could feed Europe forever. Kirchner watched too. Surrounded by her favorite plastic surgeons, who discussed Google’s beat. Its value hit $394bln; equal to Argentina’s GDP, 4-times it’s stock market cap. Yingluck cranked the volume, pulling the curtains on a crowd of revolutionary Yellow Shirts, and ordered her family-member cabinet to stop stealing from their respective ministries long enough to watch Obama. But fixated on Exxon’s earnings announcement, her feeble voice fell on deaf ears. The world’s 2nd most valuable company was in free-fall. And the room of brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles chortled as one, celebrating the fact that Exxon’s $402bln market cap had fallen slightly below Thailand’s GDP. Putin shaved his chest, flanked by bodyguards, watching America’s orator, stunned that Russian GDP remains below the value of America’s six largest companies. Russia’s stock market is worth just 25% more than Apple. Erdogan, El-Sisi and King Abdullah shared similarly stunned looks, waiting eagerly. Obama cleared his throat. And boldly made a promise to the world’s greatest democracy. To unilaterally make wonderful things happen, solve our problems, and move things forward “with or without congress.” Oblivious to the irony.



Peters Capital Group

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