It doesn’t work that way.

“Josh, it doesn’t work that way, you can’t just write them off.  If you’re going to be the head of this household, in theory, you’re responsible for everyone in it and you need to be a leader that attends to all of us.”

Yeah, but 47% of you pay no taxes – the babies haven’t paid a dime in taxes since they were born!  Absolutely zero taxes, especially the one who still sleeps in a diaper – that alone should have an inconvenience tax attached to it or something. He likes to think of himself as a victim, thinks he’s entitled to bags of cheddar goldfish around the clock.

“Josh, they’re not able to pay taxes, they – “

And the little blond girl, strutting around the house with my iPad playing my games and listening to my music.  I’m never going to convince her, so my job is not to worry about her.  My job is to worry about that thoughtful, working 50% of this house – me and you who file and pay taxes jointly. That’s my focus.

“You’re acting like an idiot, you can’t be the head of a household and only concern yourself with people in the same position as you. That’s not how it works. How do you expect the rest of us to become productive family members and buy into the goals we share if you’re already committed to ignoring them? You know, they’d like to be successful and pay taxes someday…”

Not the little fat one, the only thing that kid wants to do is watch Yo Gabba Gabba all day and break the world record for apple juice and pretzel rod consumption.

“Joshua!”

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