Southern cooking TV personality Paula Deen announced this week that she is suffering diabetes. She’s announced that she will not attempt to cook more on the healthy side to better align her Food Network show with the realities of her new life. Because she’s a lunatic who feels that her message of “eat whatever tastes good” hasn’t poisoned enough people who don’t know any better across America yet.
Psychotic comedian Megan Amram has taken to Tumblr with some of Paula’s new healthy recipes. It’s probably the most laugh-out-loud thing you’ll encounter on the web all weekend. For example:
PAULA’S BROWN RICE
1 pilaf white rice
1 bowl melted Junior Mints
Cover rice in chocolate. Serve with maple syrup to taste. To splurge, top with a sprinkle of sausage calzones.
PAULA’S GARDEN BURGER
3 bags Olive Garden® Endless Breadsticks
12 Olive Garden® Stuffed Mushrooms
1 plate Olive Garden® New! Baked Pasta Romana with Chicken
4 Olive Garden® Black Tie Mousse Cakes
1 slice American cheese (optional)
Smash all of the Olive Garden® foods together until they resemble a large patty and top with cheese. For lowest calories, hold the cheese.
More where those came from, head over…