Venture is easy. Just invest in 20 startups, buy the kids that run them tricycles or air hockey tables or some sh*t and six months later – Voila! Five billion dollars!
Anyway, JPMorgan‘s going to take a run at the whole venture investing tech startup thing – they’ve raised $1.2 billion from their customers who just have to be in for the next Zuckerberg discovery. The only problem is, they’ve chosen a very boring name: Digital Growth Fund.
Obviously this won’t do at all, here are my Top 10 alternate suggestions for the JPMorgan Venture Fund:
10. Toptick Captial
9. Suckerberg Partners
7. The Middleman Fund
6. Dentists-Playing-VCs LP
5. Bandwagon & Co
4. We’ll Fund Anything You Call Social Media and Associates
3. Dimon Digital
2. Bear Stearns Venture