An Elegant Solution for Portugal

Here we go again.  Rumblings in the sovereign bond market for a given peripheral Euro nation followed by the vigorous denials followed by the eventual assistance request.  Now it’s Portugal…it’s like Iceland, Greece, Ireland all over again.

But we can break the cycle here and now.  We can head this ragin’ contagion off at the pass.  I’ve got a simple and elegant solution I’d like to propose:

Step 1: Gather up all remaining capital within the Portuguese government and banking system.

Step 2: Put it all into the following basket of investments in equal parts (20% each):

Amazon ($AMZN)

Netflix ($NFLX)

Deckers Outdoor ($DECK)

Apple ($AAPL)

Salesforce.com ($CRM)

Step 3: Upon guaranteed appreciation, sell shares as needed to close deficit gap, fund endless entitlements and pimp hard like Rick Ross on New Years Eve.

I know it sounds crazy, but trust me, these five things (can’t call them stocks as they are uni-directional) are way better than any kind of swappy/hedgie/restructur-y nonsense that Trichet is gonna come up with.

This is as fool-proof a plan as you’re going to find.  Whatever funds Portugal has left should be deployed into this unstoppable basket immediately.  My advice is free of charge, maybe just a shoutout when it works.