How Did You Spend Your $8700 in Stimulus Money?

Good morning fellow Heads of Households and greetings from the Un-Recovery!  The question of the day today is a doozy!

According to the Washington Post, the latest Congressional band-aid, in the form of a $26 billion check to the states, has finally put us at the $1 trillion mark in approved “stimulus” spending.

If you divide that trillion bucks by the number of households in the United States, roughly 114 million of them, you come to a figure of about $8700 in fiscal stimulus expenditures per household.

“Wha-wha-what?” you ask, “I didn’t get any $8700 worth of stimulus…”

That’s correct, you did not.  Why, you may ask?  It’s because, apparently, you and me and all of our friends and neighbors are imbeciles, completely incapable of putting our own money toward things we want or need.  These decisions are better made by government agencies and assorted department “czars” with clipboards and everything.

Well, what do we have to show for the $8700 each that’s been spent on our behalf to stimulate the economy?

Look around!  Ask around!  How are you feeling these days?  How about your family members, how’s everyone holding up?  What about your town’s Main Street, how’s that looking?  And the newspaper headlines, those reading well lately?  And what of the company you work at, morale OK these days?

Alright then, money well spent!

(my sarcastic faux-cheerfulness is the only thing preventing me from burying a phillips head screwdriver in my left thigh, read accordingly)