Hey! Where's Our Seabiscuit?

18% underemployment, for teens and some minorities closer to 25%.  Asset values down anywhere from 30% to 60% including 4 straight years of dropping home prices.  National debt over $10 trillion dollars – dollars that can buy less than ever before in the global market.

Maybe it’s not a Depression but it’s gotta be the worst damn Recession ever.  Fine, so where’s our Seabiscuit?  Where’s our James “Cinderella Man” Braddock?

Why did our generation get all the horrors and hardship that come with an ongoing economic catastrophe but none of the benefits?  Where is our underdog hero with no shot who, against all odds, overcomes adversity and eventually triumphs, inspiring the entire nation during the depths of its despair?

Guess we got gypped.

Unless you want to count the ’09 Yankees, those lovable losers who were barely getting by on $10 to $30 million a year each with only their personal chefs to feed them, their personal trainers to massage away their aches and their Hollywood girlfriends to, well, ya know.

Watching this team come from out of nowhere, with only a $210 million payroll, to fight their way past such modern-day Goliaths as the Kansas City Royals was exactly the motivation we as a nation needed to make it through the day.

That’s right, A-Rod was our Seabiscuit.

Tiger Woods is our Jim Braddock.

We didn’t get an FDR as our President, we got the Guy Who Wasn’t Hillary.

In the Depression, they had runner Jesse Owens, a black man who bested Hitler’s Aryan Supermen and won 4 gold medals in the 1936 Olympics.  We, on the other hand, got swimmer Michael Phelps, who got really tired of being a role model after 60 agonizing days of worship so he decided to go do drugs in Vegas.  On camera.

What a pantheon of heroes we’ve been blessed with!

Are you inspired yet, America?  Are those tears I see welling up in your eyes?  Oh, you just opened your bank statement…sorry.