Cloudy With a Chance of Meatheads

Some stupid s&%# I’ve heard recently from some of the market participants I (am forced to) talk to…

“The Vix is dead, it should to be delisted.”

“As long as China wants to keep buying up all our debt, I wonder if they’d like to take a look at my latest Discover Card bill.”

“Why can’t we just bring back Clinton and Greenspan, then everything will be cool again, like in the 90’s.”

“Yeah but I heard on CNBC that Wal-Mart and TJ Maxx are doing well, so the consumer must be recovering.”

“I don’t understand why people don’t just put 100% of their portfolios in emerging markets and metals?  All they do is go up everyday, duh!”

“So what they laid off 70% of their workforce, beating earnings is beating earnings!”

“I don’t want to load up on BBB paper, but the Fed is basically forcing me to.”

“If you just read John Thain’s resume and see Goldman VP, head of NYSE, CEO of Merrill and you ignore all the news articles about him, he’s actually overqualified to lead CIT.”

“Can I switch my direct deposit to just go into GLD instead of my bank account?”

“I can’t wait for the Facebook IPO, how many shares do you think each member is gonna get?  Will it go by how many friends you have?”