CNBC's Most Annoying Commercials 3

And the never-ending commercial loop continues…same repetition, new set of 30 seconds spots to drive us crazy.

CNBC is the soundtrack of my workday, for better or worse, while I’m at my trading turret.  I’m OK with the network itself, but their habit of running the same 7 or 8 ads all day long, again and again, has led us to this:

CNBC’s Most Annoying Commercials, Volume 3

Chase Sapphire

Alright, alright, we get it.  The guy is saving his friggin’ rewards points for a big trip, going on and on about how the points are transferable, they don’t expire and blahbedy blah blah – but oh well, his wife already used them to buy some fugly dress.  After all that excitement about his trip, the husband ends up giggling like a fool when his heartless wife crushes his dream.

The big problem with this commercial is the Frank Sinatra music playing in the background.  If Frank were around and saw the husband let that dame off the hook, he’d stomp a mudhole in the guy…or at least slap some sense into him.  Please retire the Sapphire campaign or change the ending before The Chairman gets angry.

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Joseph A Bank

I won’t spotlight any one specific JoS A Bank commercial (yeah, that’s how they spell it, I know) because they’re all equally awful in their own way.  What we’ll talk about today is simply that voice – THAT VOICE!  That ridiculously long, drawn out, pretentious pronunciation of the store’s name, as if they’re the guys who made Jesus his robes or something.  JOOOOSEEEPPPHH AAAAA BAAAAAAAANKSSSSS.

Give it a rest already!  No one is coming there!  Buy 1 Get 1 Free, Everything is 50% Off, Now 80% Off, Now We Just Pay You To Buy Something. Shut up!  My guys in the office know never to come around me wearing anything from that store because they’ll be dealt with for encouraging that voice.  The guy below does a fair impression:

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Wells Fargo Securities

You asked for it, Stagecoach.  Look, Wells Fargo is smart to rebrand that wounded stray cat that followed them home, aka Wachovia, as Wells Fargo Advisors, I would’ve done the same thing.  My beef here is with the cutesy, cozy, Americana-exploitation imagery – the shadow of the iconic stagecoach passing by a farm as a young boy waves – give me a break.

Why not have the stagecoach drive by a neighborhood in California where a quarter of the houses are foreclosed on, or let it roll by a 70% vacant Miami condo development.  Wachovia couldn’t even manage their own money, I’ll pass on their assistance with mine.  Park that stagecoach soon…if I see it again, I might lay down in front of the horses to end the pain.

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That’s all for this edition.  I know I’m not the only one suffering, so please, feel free to let me know if I missed a truly torturous one in the comments section below.

Read Also:

CNBC’s Most Annoying Commercials Volume 1 and Volume 2