Coming Soon: The Uptick Rule

I'm Baaaaaack

The word today is that The Uptick Rule, the best line of defense we haven’t had in place for the last year, may be making a comeback.

Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.), the head of the House Financial Services committee, said that the SEC should restore the so-called “uptick” rule within a month, Reuters is reporting.

The uptick rule forces short-sellers to sell at a price higher than the previous trade. It was put in place by the SEC following the Great Depression and rescinded in 2007.

I caught up with The Uptick Rule this afternoon at P.J. Clark’s in midtown over a cheeseburger, here’s what he had to say about it:

So you thought you could live without me, huh?

74 years of keeping you people safe from abusive short-selling, and you tossed me by the side of the road like a piece of trash.

11 TRILLION DOLLARS OF STOCK MARKET LOSSES SINCE YOU GOT RID OF ME IN DECEMBER 2007! HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW?

OK, I had to get that out of my system…

Give me one good reason I should come back.  Just one.

What’s that?  Barney Frank wants me back?  You go tell mumbles that I don’t give an Eff.  I offered to come back while his two pets Fannie and Freddie were under siege last fall and guess what…he couldn’t even call me back!

Look, here’s the deal. I’m down with Chris Dodd and Barney and really, I like all of you guys…but if you ever EVER toss me by the wayside again, I’m done, man. I mean it, I’m Audi 5000.

Don’t worry, I still have the extra key you gave me

Welcome back, Uptick Rule, we’ve missed you.

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