15 Ways for Oil to Bottom

Oil seems to be racing toward $30 this morning, which is wrecking the confidence of people who demand to pay more for gasoline. It’s quite a crisis.

Here’s my list of 15 ways oil can bottom, any combo of these items should put a floor under it:

15. Congressman from the Dakotas introduces crude oil minimum-price legislation

14. Israel starts taking out targets in Syria

13. Biotech breakthrough requires large quantities of dead dinosaur material

12. CNBC puts the ticker for WTI crude permanently in the bottom right corner of the screen

11. Ford introduces an F-750 heavy-duty pickup

10. President Obama begins to sell off barrels from the Strategic Petroleum Reserve

9. iShares launches a high yield ex-energy ETF

8. Chinese GDP growth reaccelerates back to 8%

7. Canada builds its own wall along their southern border

6. A once-in-a-hundred-years snow storm blankets 2/3rds of the US

5. Iran closes the Straight of Hormuz or blows up a tanker from the Arabian Peninsula

4. CME adopts circuit breakers. Just kidding.

3. A certain gentleman from the teevee launches an ETF to short commodities

2. Tesla bankruptcy

1. Exxon Mobil kowtows to hedge fund activists, spins off its energy division, becomes convenience store REIT

Oh wait – maybe this is the bottom after all:

Saudi Arabia is considering an IPO of Aramco