Election Day Thoughts

I’m not voting today because I live in a perma-blue state. New York wouldn’t vote for Romney if he pulled Neil Diamond out of a fiery car wreck.

I think I speak on behalf of all Americans when I say that, regardless of who wins, we can only hope for four years just like the last four – rife with financial corruption, naked kleptocracy, legislative ineptitude, natural disasters, class warfare, metastasizing poverty, a hollowing out of the middle class, rising costs of living, lower wages, doping professional athletes, unlistenable popular music,  ballooning debt, manipulated bank lending rates and taxpayer-supported asset prices that no one trusts anyway.

Let’s have another cycle of that and things should turn out fine.

My kid’s school, a polling station, is calling the race for Obama early. I know this because they’ve already begun distributing needles and morning after pills in my daughter’s first grade classroom this morning.

I can’t believe anyone is surprised that Mitt Romney, a cartoon billionaire who thinks “roughing it” is driving the Cadillac instead of the Rolls, is running behind in the popular vote. Whether or not we’re in a recession is irrelevant, because for most people it already feels like one – the last one never really ended other than for people with large investment portfolios or C-Suite positions at Fortune 500 companies. Why would you expect the country to elect a Jedi job-cutter who posed for a photo with hundred dollar bills in his mouth in an environment like this?

All things being equal (and they’re not), I’d prefer to see a Romney victory – at least he understands the basic economic incentives and assurances that drive businesses to hire – but I will completely understand why that’s not going to happen.

In the meantime, there are a handful of households in blue collar Ohio that will be deciding this one, so I’ll simply sit back in my pitch-black home and watch the results unfold on a barely-charged iPhone.

Hooray for democracy.