Tim Geithner

Terry Keenan Stuffs This Year's Wall Street Turkeys

The New York Post‘s always acerbically witty columnist Terry Keenan lines up this year’s Wall Street Turkeys and knocks ’em down. The names on the list are fairly predictable even to the lay person, in light of how much ink our favorite captains of finance have recieved nationally this year.  They include Vikram Pandit, Timothy…

Dulling the Impact of the Stress Tests

an·ti·cli·max: Something trivial or commonplace that concludes a series of significant events This is not a discussion of whether or not the upcoming 19-bank stress test results are important or whether or not they should have been conducted in the first place.  Instead, the subject I’ll pontificate on here is the masterful dissemination of the potentially disruptive…

Stress Test: Capitalism Without Competition?

We’ve removed competition from just about every facet of American life for our children: No dodgeball or football in elementary school for fear of the more aggressive kids dominating the meeker kids Everyone who shows up to a spelling bee or a sporting event gets a ‘participant” award, just for having a pulse There is…

Fun With Analogies: Spring 2009

First let’s practice: Meow is to ___ as woof is to ___.  The answer? Meow is to cat as woof is to dog. OK, are you ready to continue?  Great! ______________________________________________________________ Maxine Waters is to Finance as Lindsay Lohan is to Sobriety Charlie Gasparino is to CNBC as Dr House is to Fox Andrew Cuomo…

Johnny Upside: "I'm All About Distressed Assets, Yo!"

Today we bring you another interview with Johnny Upside (read the first one here).  Johnny’s a Wall Street hotshot armed with an MBA, very little brain power and a limitless ego.  Today, Johnny discusses his new venture, Distressed Asset Investing. The Reformed Broker: Hey Johnny, what’s happening? Johnny Upside: Happening?  IT’S ALL HAPPENING, BABY! TRB:…

Rage Against the Bonus Machine

Now we are being told that our officials are unable to curb $400 million in bonus payments to AIG because the payments are “contractually obligated” to be made. There’s a great scene in the movie Major League where Corbin Bernsen‘s character Roger Dorn complains to the GM of the team about his contract and what he’s…

AIG to Taxpayers: F@$% You

Attention AIG Executives: THE NATIONAL BACKLASH IS COMING.  CASH THOSE BONUS CHECKS AT YOUR OWN PERIL. _____________________________________________________ The below is an actual first paragraph of an article in the NY Times business section this morning.  Seriously, its actually real. The American International Group, which has received more than $170 billion in taxpayer bailout money from…

Jamie Dimon is a Dreamboat

I’m a happily married man, but Jamie Dimon’s Chamber of Commerce speech today set my heart aflutter and was EXACTLY what the market and the media needed to hear after the last few weeks. A lot of the mud that’s been hurled at Wall Street lately has been completely warranted but at a certain point, its…