Amazon.com: Defying Logic and Physics Since 1997

Can you touch a rainbow? Can you caress a distant voice carried on the wind from long ago? Can you possess the morning dew or hold dominion over all the chittering woodland creatures in your midst?

You cannot. Nor can you analyze Amazon.com…

Another LOLworthy quarter from the company, driving any and all “clasically trained” accountants, analysts, CFAs and other fundamentally-inclined believers in reality, science, arithmetic and physics absolutely bonkers.

Because Amazon has always traded on a Price-to-Someday multiple and the Cult’s adulation of Jeff and his vision is absolute, never fading or faltering even for a moment.

The company missed on virtually every metric last night – and the crowd goes wild! AMZN is indicating up 22 bucks in the pre-market as of 8:30.

Tyler at Zero Hedge sums up the latest Amazon earnings reaction perfectly…

Amazon Misses, Growth Slows, Guides Lower, P/E Goes Negative And Stock Soars

The most cartoonish stock of all time just came out with results that can only be characterized as WTF. To wit:

• Q4 revenue of $21.27 billion missed expectations of $22.23 billion
• Q1 EPS of $0.21 missed expectations of $0.27;
• The firm guided top-line lower, seeing Q1 sales of $15-$16 billion, below the estimate of $16.5 billion
• The firm guided operating income much lower, seeing Q1 op income of ($285)-$65 Million on expectations of $261.4 MM
• The firm said the its physical books sales had the lowest growth in 17 years
• Total employees grew by 7,000 in the quarter and 32,200 Y/Y to a record 88,400
• Worldwide net sales Y/Y growth was the slowest in years at 23%, down from 30% in Q3 and 34% a year ago
• And, last and certainly least, LTM Net Income is now officially negative, or ($49) meaning as of this moment the firm with the idiotically high PE has an even more idiotic N/M PE.

… And the stock is soaring in the after hours. Thank you DE Shaw, or actually that is Mr. Bezos who should thank you for the latest AH favor where accelerated HFT buying creates the impression that the numbers were good. They weren’t.

Go ask an Amazon long, who’s made 3, 5 or 10-fold on his investment whether or not he gives a fuck about “the numbers” being good. He doesn’t. Go ask the momentum junkies who have AMZN as the first symbol on their quote screens about the lower guidance for operating income, you’ll be met with a blank stare.

And for those who would say “Someday this will matter,” I’ll agree – with the caveat that this has been true for going on 15 years now.