out of office reply

Today, October 10th 2012, I will be out of the internet.

Your favorite blogger will not be posting as today is The Big Picture Conference 2012!

As we speak, I’m working the show, introducing speakers, moderating panels and consuming all manner of finger foods in between sessions. But I would like to relay the following pieces of advice, hard-earned over a career spent mostly fighting for what I felt was right over the interests of pigs, bullies, commission slaves, authority junkies,  charlatans and other pieces of human garbage I’ve stepped over along the way:

1. Never buy a closed-end fund IPO, they are guaranteed to trade down more than 8% when the penalty bid phase expires (typically 90 days after public offering date). Punch anyone in the face who tries to sell you one, he is pocketing a 4% inside selling concession and knows goddamn well that the fund will drop by at least 8% when the penalty bid phase expires. The entire complex is a giant, predictable joke and you are the punchline.

2. Don’t pay $10,000 for a financial plan. It’s all printed off a generic piece of software designed to spit out a booklet full of pie charts and then the guy who sold it to you just puts you into the same eight mutual funds anyway. The whole thing is funny/sad, like the series finale of Fresh Prince of Bel Air (sad because it was so obvious that Will Smith had outgrown his sitcom family, even the butler, even the mom and also that fake mom they substituted in one season and tried to act like it was the same actress all along).

3.. Hedge funds, lol. There are like 20 or 30 amazing managers and you can’t get into their funds anyway. The rest might become amazing but you’ll never be able to predict the next David Einhorn amongst the thousands who will not be. Do you believe in magic? You probably used to and then you saw your dad drunk and your mom crying and the whole mystique of infallibility wore off. Apply that same logic to hedge funds – there is no magic. But if you find a really good one, tell me about it quietly, because I too want to believe…

4. The consumer staples sector of the S&P is up 47% since the peak of the S&P 500 in 2007 while the broader market is still down 7% five years later. Did you learn anything? Here’s what you should have learned: Even in the very worst of times, people still have to get out of bed, make their kids breakfast and put them on the bus to school. They will die before they stop doing that, no matter what kind of recession/depression/crash you think is afoot. Before I let my kids go hungry, I will work three jobs and then kill a hobo to sell his organs. And you will too. Invest accordingly, end of lesson.

5. Anyone who refers to himself as a “financier” is full of shit. Anyone who wears loafers with no socks to a business meeting is going to steal from you.

6. When in doubt, turn off the TV and read a book.

7. Obama sucks and Romney sucks. And you suck for believing that either of these guys are bigger than the cycle. Time runs its course, the wheel turns and what was bad becomes good, what was good becomes bad. People with good hair and law degrees have no answers, only promises they are lucky to be able to keep. Respect the cycles, understand demography, anticipate progress in fits and starts. Tolerate politicians but don’t think they can really affect anything in the grand scheme of things.

8. Make quick decisions about relationships, in real life and online. People don’t change, what mildly bothers you about them today will enrage you in the future. Block them fast and without prejudice on the first offense, you will never regret it.

9. Surround yourself with A-listers only. Steve Jobs was a huge prick, but if you read either Lashinky’s book or Isaacson’s book, the single most obvious takeaway was that he only got involved with winners. The largest company in history was built on this unstated philosophy – you could do worse than making it a personal philosophy.

10. Did you finish that book from number 6? Great, read another one. Here’s what Charlie Munger, Warren Buffett’s number 2 and one of the wealthiest men on planet earth had to say on the subject: “In my whole life, I have known no wise people who didn’t read all the time — none, zero.” Never stop reading.

That’s all I got. Today will be one of the most momentous days of my life so far. I hope to make the most of it and I will be appreciating every minute I’ve been given. It took me a long time to get to that place intellectually and spiritually, I hope you have gotten there as well.



PS: If your need is urgent, I’ll be obsessively swiping through emails on my phone as always.

Full Disclosure: Nothing on this site should ever be considered to be advice, research or an invitation to buy or sell any securities, please see my Terms & Conditions page for a full disclaimer.

What's been said:

Discussions found on the web
  1. the best dildos commented on Dec 08

    the best dildos

    […]usually posts some very exciting stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[…]

  2. خرید اپل آیدی commented on Dec 08

    خرید اپل ایدی

    Wonderful blog! Is your topic customized created or did you obtain it from someplace? A design like yours with a number of simple adjustements would really make my weblog stand out. Remember to let me know where you acquired your design. Bless you

  3. Realistic vibrators commented on Dec 08

    Realistic vibrators

    […]usually posts some incredibly exciting stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[…]

  4. legit work from home jobs commented on Dec 09

    legit work from home jobs

    […]the time to read or take a look at the content or websites we’ve linked to below the[…]

  5. Twitter Konto commented on Dec 12

    Twitter Konto

    […]that would be the finish of this write-up. Right here you’ll uncover some internet sites that we feel you will enjoy, just click the hyperlinks over[…]

  6. harmonica app commented on Dec 12

    harmonica app

    […]please take a look at the web-sites we comply with, including this 1, as it represents our picks in the web[…]

  7. طراحی سایت ارزان commented on Dec 12

    طراحی سایت ارزان

    […]we prefer to honor many other internet websites around the internet, even though they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Under are some webpages worth checking out[…]

  8. rhalyns online store commented on Dec 12

    rhalyns online store

    […]The info mentioned in the write-up are some of the most effective out there […]

  9. เสื้อผ้า commented on Dec 12


    […]below you’ll obtain the link to some websites that we consider you ought to visit[…]

  10. female vibrator commented on Dec 13

    female vibrator

    […]The details talked about within the post are several of the most beneficial readily available […]

  11. best lube for anal commented on Dec 13

    best lube for anal

    […]that may be the finish of this article. Right here you’ll uncover some websites that we believe you’ll appreciate, just click the links over[…]

  12. Triple Play Pleasure Pump Pro commented on Dec 14

    Triple Play Pleasure Pump Pro

    […]The details mentioned inside the write-up are several of the most effective obtainable […]

  13. carpet cleaner sunrise fl commented on Dec 15

    carpet cleaner sunrise fl

    […]the time to read or go to the subject material or websites we’ve linked to beneath the[…]

  14. rotating g spot vibrator commented on Dec 16

    rotating g spot vibrator

    […]one of our guests not long ago proposed the following website[…]