Hedge fund manager Dan Loeb has become well-known for the acerbic letters he’s written to poorly-performing management teams but let me assure you, he’s got nothing on Groucho Marx.
The famed funnyman got a glossy annual report from the Franklin Corporation in 1961, what follows is his letter to the president of the company…
From Letters of Note:
April 24, 1961
Dear Mr Goodman:
I received the first annual report of the Franklin Corporation and though I am not an expert at reading balance sheets, my financial advisor (who, I assure you, knows nothing) nodded his head in satisfaction.
You wrote that you hope I am not one of those borscht circuit stockholders who get a few points’ profit and hastily scram for the hills. For your information, I bought Alleghany Preferred eleven years ago and am just now disposing of it.
As a brand new member of your family, strategically you made a ghastly mistake in sending me individual pictures of the Board of Directors. Mr Roth, Chairman of the Board, merely looks sinister. You, the President, look like a hard worker with not too much on the ball. No one named Prosswimmer can possibly be a success. As for Samuel A. Goldblith, PhD., head of Food Technology at MIT, he looks as though he had eaten too much of the wrong kind of fodder.