Groupoem (or an IPO for the ages)
Gather round, dear investors, and hear all about
The worst IPO that has ever come out
It’s hitting this week if the stars align right
But only the foolish would look for a bite
For Groupon is now past the peak of its glory
Its promising start a well-known story
Of youthful intensity, vision and zeal
Of crafting the perfect consumer-led deal
City by city, Groupon grew like a weed
Positioned as marketing for the small biz in need
Coupons for shoes and coupons for socks
Offers for Lasik and half-off on Crocs
Then Google came calling, six bil on the table
But Groupon bought into their very own fable
The emails would issue from CEO Mason
“Hang on tight,” Andrew said, “our competitors are chasin'”
So onward and upward the company went
Taking in money that it promptly spent
The trick was to pay merchants sixty days late
Which gave Groupon money and time to inflate
The accountants concluded the scheme was impaired
Sure they were grumpy – but they also were scared
“A ponzi,” they called it, “it can’t be sustained!”
“If they run out of room to expand they’ll be drained!”
And one other headwind we also should mention
The social offers crown is still in contention
Both Amazon and Google desire to play
Good luck keeping those two rottweilers at bay
The first IPO filing was put back on the shelf
A value of thirty billion soon became twelve
And as Groupon embarked on its period of quiet
A leaked memo from Mason created a riot
The regulators didn’t find any of this funny
The rules get much stricter when you’re trying to raise money
Poor Andrew was learning a lesson for sure
Being boyish and charming wouldn’t help him no more
So with shady accounting and rivals galore
Groupon now brings its stock to the floor
Sixteen to eighteen per share is the word
With a float so constrained it’s completely absurd
Less than five percent of Groupon shares will go pub
An insulting debut, why that’s barely a stub!
They’ll create quite a show with this scarcity bait
The intentions are clear, to manipulate
By producing a noteworthy opening pop
The underwriters get to market their shop
So Facebook and others will watch and learn
Which bankers to hire when it’s finally their turn
In the meantime the VCs in Groupon are thrilled
Their exit is coming, the champagne is chilled
A too-close encounter with death is postponed
While retail investors line up to get boned
The next Demand Media or LinkedIn perhaps
And look how it fell right into their laps!
They’ll buy that first day as up-stocks attract cash
While the insiders prepare to make their last dash
Mason will get his chance to be boss
At a big public company, come profit or loss
And all will be well on The Street named Wall
As the bankers await Mr. Zuckerberg’s call
– Downtown Josh Brown, October 30th 2011
Read Also:
The Netflix and the Blockbuster by Lewis Carroll (TRB)
دوربین مداربسته
Create a lot more, thats all I have to say. Virtually, it would seem as though you relied on the online video to make your stage. You naturally know what youre speaking about, why squander your intelligence on just submitting videos to your web site wh…
exito mundial de ganadoras
[…]the time to study or pay a visit to the content material or websites we’ve linked to below the[…]
psicologo adicciones
[…]Every when in a though we select blogs that we study. Listed beneath are the most up-to-date sites that we pick out […]
فروش دوربین مدار بسته
Greetings from Florida! I’m bored to demise at work so I decided to examine out your website on my iphone throughout lunch break. I appreciate the details you provide here and simply cannot hold out to take a appear when I get home. I’m amazed at how r…
ผ้าญี่ปุ่นพาหุรัด
????????????? ??????????????????? ????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????
find a hacker
[…]The information mentioned inside the post are several of the most effective available […]
دوربین مدار بسته وایرلس
Hi there! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Lookup Motor Optimization? I’m making an attempt to get my blog to rank for some specific key phrases but I’m not seeing really excellent outcomes. If you know of any make sure you share. Ap…
دوربین دنده عقب
I’m really experiencing the design and format of your site. It’s a quite simple on the eyes which helps make it significantly far more nice for me to come below and pay a visit to a lot more usually. Did you hire out a developer to develop your concept…
دوربین مدار بسته آنالوگ
Admiring the devotion you place into your blog and in depth info you offer. It’s awesome to arrive across a website every once in a although that is not the identical previous rehashed information. Excellent go through! I have bookmarked your site and…
the bullet sex toy
[…]just beneath, are a lot of absolutely not connected websites to ours, nevertheless, they may be certainly really worth going over[…]
adam and eve
[…]although websites we backlink to beneath are considerably not associated to ours, we really feel they’re basically worth a go by way of, so have a look[…]
bullet vibrator review
[…]please take a look at the web-sites we stick to, including this a single, because it represents our picks in the web[…]
vaginal exercises
[…]please visit the web-sites we follow, such as this a single, as it represents our picks in the web[…]
suterh
[…]one of our guests a short while ago proposed the following website[…]
Wooden Phone Case
[…]the time to read or check out the content or web sites we’ve linked to beneath the[…]