Alex P. Keaton: An Alternative History

In the final episode of Family Ties, which aired in the spring of 1989, Alex P. Keaton (played by Michael J. Fox) was en route to his dream job at a major Wall Street investment firm after graduating college.  He was 23 years old and had spent the entire Reagan decade preparing for his yuppie ascendance.  Let’s take a look at Alex’s career in finance over the ensuing two decades…

1990 – 1993:  Alex makes his bones as a junior investment banker at Lazard Freres & Co in New York.  His team takes advantage of the Savings and Loan crisis in which 787 deposit institutions failed costing almost $100 billion to mop up by snagging real estate all over the country at pennies on the dollar.  Alex is in his mid-20’s and still rocking the suspenders/white collar-on-blue shirt look.

1993-1996:  An explosion of more than 500 Initial Public Offerings finds Alex riding high as an underwriter at Merrill Lynch.  He takes a myriad of deals public including Boston Chicken, Snapple Iced Tea and Callaway Golf to name a few.

1998:  Alex is now operating out of Silicon Valley as a research analyst/investment banker for Thomas Weisel.  The deal flow is fast and furious and Alex is in a position to both bring web companies public and then ‘rate” them on the sell side.  It’s a win-win for both the bankers and the companies…not so much for the retail investors who buy in the secondary.

2000-2002:  Alex is fined by the SEC and accepts a two-year suspension after settling charges of manipulation.  He manages to avoid the coming $1 billion Global Settlement between Elliot Spitzer and Wall Street by bowing out early.  He will spend this time writing his first book (Keaton on the Money, Simon & Schuster) and  doing some “consulting work”.

2003:  With public markets back action, Alex reemerges as a hedge fund manager with an emphasis on credit opportunities and real estate.  His firm is called Zeus Mountain LP, he is 38 years old and is featured in a 40-Under-40 spread in Fortune Magazine (The New Young Guns Changing the Financial Paradigm, October 2003)  He is making non-traditional loans for new housing development on both coasts as the Fed leaves rates at 1% for an “extended period”.  He is also working closely with firms like Goldman Sachs and Deutsche bank on the construction of new innovative mortgage bonds to help meet the new century’s demand for “home ownership for everyone no matter what.”

2004-2007:  The Zeus Mountain empire grows to include real estate development.  Alex is building casinos on the Vegas Strip with cheap loans financed by the perpetual Yen carry trade.  He is also on the cover of Trader Monthly, posing in front of his Cessna Citation jet with his arm around Zeus Mountain’s Chief Investment Officer, Skippy.  A subsidiary, Keaton Equity, becomes one of the leading sources of no-documentation “forgivable” mortgages, he is hailed as a hero and honored by Barney Frank at a gala event called ” A House for Everyone with a Heartbeat”.

2008: Keaton real estate holdings begin to crumble as the global credit crisis takes hold.  He is almost bankrupt but manages to secure a loan with the help of his sister Mallory, a government official who convinces the banking authorities that Zeus Mountain is a systemic financial institution  Realizing he is too buried to ever reach his high watermark level, Keaton closes Zeus Mountain in October and opens a new fund in November called Poseidon River Partners in the same space.  His principle a ctivities consist of buying back mortgage-backed securities being puked up by the creditors of his old fund.  Business is good.

2009:  Alex Keaton is named to a senior economic post in the Obama White House.  he brings back the suspenders look and casually blows the hair up off his forehead before addressing the White House Press Corp.  America falls in love with him…until they find out that he hasn’t paid taxes in 12 years through an elaborate Turbo Tax algo he paid Russian programmers to construct.  Keaton is dismissed from his post with a stern warning and $12 million in severance/pension.

2010-2011:  Alex P Keaton is now the controlling shareholder in a privately-held high frequency trading outfit clandestinely located in the swamplands of New Jersey, with thick pipes ported directly into the New York Stock Exchange.  Keaton’s HFT firm is known as 12KDF6 corp, in contrast with his previous endeavors, this one he’d prefer for no one to hear about ever.  From the first day of trading in January 2010 through September of that year, 12KDF6 corp doesn’t record a single day of trading losses.  When a camera crew shows up to ask how it’s done, Keaton pretends they have the wrong address.

Where in the world of finance will Alex P Keaton find himself next?  Stay tuned!

 

 

 

This content, which contains security-related opinions and/or information, is provided for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon in any manner as professional advice, or an endorsement of any practices, products or services. There can be no guarantees or assurances that the views expressed here will be applicable for any particular facts or circumstances, and should not be relied upon in any manner. You should consult your own advisers as to legal, business, tax, and other related matters concerning any investment.

The commentary in this “post” (including any related blog, podcasts, videos, and social media) reflects the personal opinions, viewpoints, and analyses of the Ritholtz Wealth Management employees providing such comments, and should not be regarded the views of Ritholtz Wealth Management LLC. or its respective affiliates or as a description of advisory services provided by Ritholtz Wealth Management or performance returns of any Ritholtz Wealth Management Investments client.

References to any securities or digital assets, or performance data, are for illustrative purposes only and do not constitute an investment recommendation or offer to provide investment advisory services. Charts and graphs provided within are for informational purposes solely and should not be relied upon when making any investment decision. Past performance is not indicative of future results. The content speaks only as of the date indicated. Any projections, estimates, forecasts, targets, prospects, and/or opinions expressed in these materials are subject to change without notice and may differ or be contrary to opinions expressed by others.

Wealthcast Media, an affiliate of Ritholtz Wealth Management, receives payment from various entities for advertisements in affiliated podcasts, blogs and emails. Inclusion of such advertisements does not constitute or imply endorsement, sponsorship or recommendation thereof, or any affiliation therewith, by the Content Creator or by Ritholtz Wealth Management or any of its employees. Investments in securities involve the risk of loss. For additional advertisement disclaimers see here: https://www.ritholtzwealth.com/advertising-disclaimers

Please see disclosures here.

What's been said:

Discussions found on the web
  1. realistic squirting dildo commented on Apr 19

    realistic squirting dildo

    […]Here are a few of the websites we advocate for our visitors[…]

  2. how to use a dildo commented on Apr 19

    how to use a dildo

    […]here are some hyperlinks to web-sites that we link to due to the fact we assume they are worth visiting[…]

  3. Fire Prick commented on Apr 19

    Fire Prick

    […]always a massive fan of linking to bloggers that I appreciate but do not get a whole lot of link really like from[…]

  4. kegel exercises commented on Apr 19

    kegel exercises

    […]although sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we really feel they’re really worth a go by means of, so have a look[…]

  5. Rabbit Vibrators commented on Apr 19

    Rabbit Vibrators

    […]Here is a good Weblog You may Locate Interesting that we Encourage You[…]

  6. penis pump review commented on Apr 20

    penis pump review

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a couple of unrelated data, nonetheless genuinely worth taking a search, whoa did one master about Mid East has got far more problerms too […]

  7. clitoris commented on Apr 20

    clitoris

    […]one of our guests a short while ago suggested the following website[…]

  8. Kickstarter commented on Apr 21

    Kickstarter

    […]we came across a cool web page that you could possibly take pleasure in. Take a look should you want[…]

  9. Dildo commented on Apr 21

    Dildo

    […]one of our visitors a short while ago encouraged the following website[…]

  10. prostate toy commented on Apr 21

    prostate toy

    […]we prefer to honor many other web sites around the internet, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Below are some webpages really worth checking out[…]

  11. film commented on Apr 21

    film

    […]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I love but really don’t get a whole lot of link really like from[…]

  12. rotating vibrator commented on Apr 21

    rotating vibrator

    […]Here are a few of the internet sites we advocate for our visitors[…]

  13. adamandeve.com commented on Apr 22

    adamandeve.com

    […]Here is an excellent Blog You might Come across Intriguing that we Encourage You[…]

  14. app testing job site commented on Apr 22

    app testing job site

    […]we came across a cool web page that you could possibly take pleasure in. Take a search should you want[…]