What a way to make an exit!
Bank of America said late Wednesday that it would repay its entire $45 billion in government bailout money before the end of the year…“We appreciate the critical role that the U.S. government played last fall in helping to stabilize financial markets, and we are pleased to be able to fully repay the investment, with interest,” Kenneth D. Lewis, the bank’s current chief executive, said in a statement.
Few things, guys…
- First off, I suppose congratulations are in order…to whoever the investment bankers are that are going to put the massive convertible stock offering together to raise the cash. You have any idea how big the fees are on a $19 billion securities offering? We’re talking Maseratis for everyone, baby!
- Kenny knows how to make an exit. Paying off TARP on his way out the door gives him his shot at a comeback in two years – and he won’t even have to write for Slate.com! He can go straight to the book deal in which the evil John Thain and Hank Paulson are cast as Scilla and Charibdis (brush up on your Homer).
- Lastly, how pissed is poor Vikram Pandit right now, Citi being one of the last TARP banks standing? You can just picture the IMs going back and forth:
Vik_Money: Dude, are you f***ing kidding me? You didnt tell me you were about to f***ing pay off TARP! WTF?!?
KennyBoy69: Calm down, bro. You guys are gonna get the underwriting fees, like a lot of them, when we do the raise.
Vik_Money: Is that what you think I care about? Now Citi is the only one, man. We cant pay back TARP, we cant pay f*** ing Con f*** ing Edison! Not cool, Kenny.
KennyBoy69: Look, I don’t tell you how to run Citi, we had to do this for the taxpayers.
Vik_Money: You mean for your legacy. Stop frontin’, Ken. All Im saying is U could have told me.
KennyBoy69: Whatever. Nip/Tuck’s starting. TTYL
Anyway, that’s how I imagine it. I could be wrong.