German Sex Bailout

germany

German whores need stimulus, too.

I know, I know…too provocative an opening sentence.  I learned that from Rupert, you’re lucky that wasn’t the title.

From Reuters:
In Germany…one of the few countries where prostitution is legal, and unusually transparent, the industry has responded with an economic stimulus package of its own: modern marketing tools, rebates and gimmicks to boost falling demand.

The restraint required for me to bring you this story without too much of my usual commentary was Herculean to say the least, so I’ll let the article ride:

Some brothels have cut prices or added free promotions while others have introduced all-inclusive flat-rate fees.

Now, what exactly is included in the flat-rate fee?

“We’re definitely feeling the crisis. Clients are being tight with their money. They’re afraid. You can’t charge for the extras any more and there is pressure to cut prices. Everyone wants a deal. Special promotions are essential these days,” said Karin Ahrens, who manages the “Yes, Sir” brothel in Hanover.

Extras?  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Germans are off the hook.

Germany has about 400,000 professional prostitutes.  Annual revenues are about 14 billion euros ($18 billion), according to an estimate…Taxes on prostitution are an important source of income for some cities.

That’s big money.  Imagine if we taxed that here!

And finally, here’s the part I couldn’t have made up:

Berlin’s “Pussy Club” has attracted media attention with its headline-grabbing “flat rate” — a 70-euro admission charge for unlimited food, drink and sex between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.

Bottom line here, folks?

I am proposing nothing short of a full-fledged congressional fact-finding mission to Germany to fully explore the methods these businesses are using to counter the effects of the global slowdown.  To carry out this government-funded, all expenses paid mission, I propose myself, my boy Barry and my cousin Jon.

I believe we can take what we learn there and bring that knowledge home to help struggling companies stateside.  We will need about ten days or so to fully explore everything that Germany has to offer and dutifully bring our findings back to Washington for a (partial) debriefing.  I undertake this task selflessly, as a true American patriot.

Full Story:  Global economic crisis hits German sex industry (Reuters)

Full Disclosure:  Nothing to Disclose…yet.

What's been said:

Discussions found on the web
  1. Dan commented on Apr 24

    Can I get the chick on the right, the blonde, with the rack……….

    Reminds me of the last story I saw concerning German brothels.

    It was during a recent Eurocup soccer tourney, hosted by Germany.

    And I saw the story over at of all places, Daniel Pipes’ blog, {DanielPipes.com}. It seems that some huge brothel, which was a building over ten stories tall, had some vast poster on the outside of some hot German chick, and besides her were the flags of all the participants of the Euro soccer tourney, one of which happened to be Turkey.

    Well, the adherents of the religion of perpetual outrage flipped that the Turkish flag was on some huge ten story billboard advertising for a brothel.

    It caused quite a furor.

    As for the chick on the billboard, ————– absolutely blazing hot. Pipes included a photo of the vast ten-story-sized billboard, and she would certainly get your attention. I’d not be surprised if that billboard caused traffic accidents.

  2. Dan commented on Apr 24

    Can I get the chick on the right, the blonde, with the rack……….

    Reminds me of the last story I saw concerning German brothels.

    It was during a recent Eurocup soccer tourney, hosted by Germany.

    And I saw the story over at of all places, Daniel Pipes’ blog, {DanielPipes.com}. It seems that some huge brothel, which was a building over ten stories tall, had some vast poster on the outside of some hot German chick, and besides her were the flags of all the participants of the Euro soccer tourney, one of which happened to be Turkey.

    Well, the adherents of the religion of perpetual outrage flipped that the Turkish flag was on some huge ten story billboard advertising for a brothel.

    It caused quite a furor.

    As for the chick on the billboard, ————– absolutely blazing hot. Pipes included a photo of the vast ten-story-sized billboard, and she would certainly get your attention. I’d not be surprised if that billboard caused traffic accidents.

  3. Dan commented on Apr 24

    Can I get the chick on the right, the blonde, with the rack……….

    Reminds me of the last story I saw concerning German brothels.

    It was during a recent Eurocup soccer tourney, hosted by Germany.

    And I saw the story over at of all places, Daniel Pipes’ blog, {DanielPipes.com}. It seems that some huge brothel, which was a building over ten stories tall, had some vast poster on the outside of some hot German chick, and besides her were the flags of all the participants of the Euro soccer tourney, one of which happened to be Turkey.

    Well, the adherents of the religion of perpetual outrage flipped that the Turkish flag was on some huge ten story billboard advertising for a brothel.

    It caused quite a furor.

    As for the chick on the billboard, ————– absolutely blazing hot. Pipes included a photo of the vast ten-story-sized billboard, and she would certainly get your attention. I’d not be surprised if that billboard caused traffic accidents.