Sucks to be Cerberus

Harry Hamlin faces down Cerberus in Clash of the Titans

Harry Hamlin faces down Cerberus in Clash of the Titans

Oopsies!

Steven Feinberg:  Oh my gosh, honey, are you awake?

Mrs. Feinberg:  Yes, what is it, Dear?  You sounded like you were having a nightmare…

Steven Feinberg:  Yeah, it was weird…I dreamt that my private equity firm owned both GMAC and Chrysler!  It was horrible!

Mrs. Feinberg:  Well…umm…ok, go back to sleep, hon.  Everything will be ok.

Like the mythological three-headed dog its named after, Cerberus Capital Management now finds itself at the Gates of Hell, though not in the role of guardian….its more like a resident these days.

From the New York Times:
Private investment firm, Cerberus Capital Management, bought Chrysler in the summer of 2007. Back then, Mr. Feinberg was hailed as a hero — the Wall Street financier who just might save the American car industry. Instead, he lost billions for his investors and co-investors. And last week it became clear that he would lose Chrysler’s auto operations, as well.

But owning Chrysler wasn’t enough for the voracious plutocrats at Cerb…they also just HAD to own the General Motors Acceptance Corp, aka GMAC, aka Pacific Ocean-sized puddle of toxic debt sludge.

But Mr. Feinberg did not go quietly. He also discussed additional federal money to help his other wayward investments in Detroit: GMAC and Chrysler Financial.

Yeah, but doesn’t Cerberus employ all these rainmakers and politicos who could move mountains to somehow find a way to get the taxpayers “sharing” the losses?

Cerberus, many agree, was like so many private equity firms that overreached during the late boom in corporate buyouts. But the firm also seems to have miscalculated in Washington. Mr. Feinberg employs a Who’s Who of Washington insiders, among them John W. Snow, the former Treasury secretary, and Dan Quayle, a former vice president. Cerberus has lobbied aggressively in recent months to shape the government’s rescue of the auto industry, to little avail.

Wow, Dan Quayle!  Was Kato Kaelin busy?

I’m sorry to hear about your ill-timed, showboat purchases of these automaker assets, Mr. Feinberg, but I regret to inform you that I don’t have the slightest interest in watching my elected officials steer a penny of my taxes toward making you and your investors whole on either Chrysler or GMAC.

Good day, sir.  I SAID GOOD DAY SIR!

(yes that was a Willy Wonka reference)

Full Story:  Cerberus Tries to Salvage (NYT)

Tags: , , , , , ,

This content, which contains security-related opinions and/or information, is provided for informational purposes only and should not be relied upon in any manner as professional advice, or an endorsement of any practices, products or services. There can be no guarantees or assurances that the views expressed here will be applicable for any particular facts or circumstances, and should not be relied upon in any manner. You should consult your own advisers as to legal, business, tax, and other related matters concerning any investment.

The commentary in this “post” (including any related blog, podcasts, videos, and social media) reflects the personal opinions, viewpoints, and analyses of the Ritholtz Wealth Management employees providing such comments, and should not be regarded the views of Ritholtz Wealth Management LLC. or its respective affiliates or as a description of advisory services provided by Ritholtz Wealth Management or performance returns of any Ritholtz Wealth Management Investments client.

References to any securities or digital assets, or performance data, are for illustrative purposes only and do not constitute an investment recommendation or offer to provide investment advisory services. Charts and graphs provided within are for informational purposes solely and should not be relied upon when making any investment decision. Past performance is not indicative of future results. The content speaks only as of the date indicated. Any projections, estimates, forecasts, targets, prospects, and/or opinions expressed in these materials are subject to change without notice and may differ or be contrary to opinions expressed by others.

Wealthcast Media, an affiliate of Ritholtz Wealth Management, receives payment from various entities for advertisements in affiliated podcasts, blogs and emails. Inclusion of such advertisements does not constitute or imply endorsement, sponsorship or recommendation thereof, or any affiliation therewith, by the Content Creator or by Ritholtz Wealth Management or any of its employees. Investments in securities involve the risk of loss. For additional advertisement disclaimers see here: https://www.ritholtzwealth.com/advertising-disclaimers

Please see disclosures here.

What's been said:

Discussions found on the web
  1. Is Bitcoin Era safe to use? commented on Sep 23

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you can find 14848 additional Information on that Topic: thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/01/sucks-to-be-cerberus/ […]

  2. bitcoin era commented on Oct 01

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on on that Topic: thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/01/sucks-to-be-cerberus/ […]

  3. https://monkeyslaundry.com.au/ commented on Nov 08

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on to that Topic: thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/01/sucks-to-be-cerberus/ […]

  4. devon tread 2 replica commented on Nov 25

    … [Trackback]

    […] Information on that Topic: thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/01/sucks-to-be-cerberus/ […]

  5. 토렌트사이트 commented on Dec 19

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 20734 additional Information on that Topic: thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/01/sucks-to-be-cerberus/ […]

  6. rbc online banking login commented on Dec 24

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More Information here to that Topic: thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/01/sucks-to-be-cerberus/ […]

  7. 사설토토 commented on Dec 25

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More on that Topic: thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/01/sucks-to-be-cerberus/ […]

  8. digital transformation consultants commented on Jan 16

    … [Trackback]

    […] Here you will find 26642 additional Info to that Topic: thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/01/sucks-to-be-cerberus/ […]

  9. LG G12NT N4E3 manuals commented on Jan 20

    … [Trackback]

    […] Information to that Topic: thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/01/sucks-to-be-cerberus/ […]

  10. see post commented on Jan 28

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on to that Topic: thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/01/sucks-to-be-cerberus/ […]