Forget Chuck Norris: Here are the Harry Markopolos Facts

Image from The Boston Globe

Image from The Boston Globe

The spotlight on Harry Markopolos, the whistleblower who was ignored regarding the Madoff fraud, is about to shine as brightly as a supernova.  As the gushing press and blogosphere begin their lionization of the brilliant and intrepid math whiz who saw through the deception, I thought it might be a good time to assemble a list of the following little-known “facts” from around the Internet about the man who could have been a hero.

Fact 1: Although Markopolos spent much of his career in Boston, he thankfully has managed to retain his (slightly) less annoying Pennsylvania accent, rather than succumb to the “Hahvahd Yahd” thing.

Fact 2: Markopolos once slept in a dumpster in the East 60’s while staking out Bernie Madoff on the weekend after a triple witching options expiration, just to have first dibs on the shredded trade confirmations.

Fact 3: In 2003, Markopolos single-handedly called BS on the “Weapons of Mass Destruction” assumptions of the Pentagon after spending 30 seconds or so looking at the intelligence.

Fact 4: Markopolos can do 20 one-handed push-ups with each hand without breaking a sweat, but if asked to do so in public, will modestly demur with  a modest chuckle…did we mention he’s a Nobel Laureate in Modesty?

Fact 5: In the early part of this decade, Markopolos briefly dated Sarah Michelle Gellar, Penelope Cruz, Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Aniston, but he broke all of their hearts when he decided to focus on his career and investigation.

Fact 6: When he finally caught Bernie Madoff at the end of a sewer tunnel, Madoff yelled above the hum of rushing water “I’m innocent!”, to which Markopolos yelled back, “I don’t care!”

Fact 7: Markopolos never wore a Livestrong bracelet.  Never, ever, ever…he was way too cool for that.

Fact 8: The day of the bust, Markopolos yanked Bernie’s smirking mask off and exposed the face of none other than…Mister Willikers!  The old caretaker of the haunted petting zoo!

Enjoy your moment of fame, Harry Markopolos, you deserve it.  You almost saved a ton of money for the American investing public…almost.

What's been said:

Discussions found on the web
  1. Huston Macy commented on Feb 08

    I take acception with those who the blame investments gone awry with the investor. Our SEC has become so lax in its policing efforts that even when confronted with points of deception they have rarely acted on the information. Those who blame the investor encourage the criminals to exploit investors. The Reeves family of Alanar Inc., were supposedly all christians with good standing with the various churches. I invested money in IRA investments at higher rates than the church bonds paid. Many people invested the money they had worked for all their lives and have been strung along for 4 years by Stewart and Stewart-Brad Skolik and the SEC. I too have been very frustrated by lack of information or no information. I would like to know why we haven’t been provide information about claiming losses on our taxes, we paid taxes on interest not received and we should be able to file ammended returns thru 2005 if filed before April 15, 2009. I would appreciate information on this if anyone has good info.

  2. Huston Macy commented on Feb 08

    I take acception with those who the blame investments gone awry with the investor. Our SEC has become so lax in its policing efforts that even when confronted with points of deception they have rarely acted on the information. Those who blame the investor encourage the criminals to exploit investors. The Reeves family of Alanar Inc., were supposedly all christians with good standing with the various churches. I invested money in IRA investments at higher rates than the church bonds paid. Many people invested the money they had worked for all their lives and have been strung along for 4 years by Stewart and Stewart-Brad Skolik and the SEC. I too have been very frustrated by lack of information or no information. I would like to know why we haven’t been provide information about claiming losses on our taxes, we paid taxes on interest not received and we should be able to file ammended returns thru 2005 if filed before April 15, 2009. I would appreciate information on this if anyone has good info.

  3. Huston Macy commented on Feb 08

    I take acception with those who the blame investments gone awry with the investor. Our SEC has become so lax in its policing efforts that even when confronted with points of deception they have rarely acted on the information. Those who blame the investor encourage the criminals to exploit investors. The Reeves family of Alanar Inc., were supposedly all christians with good standing with the various churches. I invested money in IRA investments at higher rates than the church bonds paid. Many people invested the money they had worked for all their lives and have been strung along for 4 years by Stewart and Stewart-Brad Skolik and the SEC. I too have been very frustrated by lack of information or no information. I would like to know why we haven’t been provide information about claiming losses on our taxes, we paid taxes on interest not received and we should be able to file ammended returns thru 2005 if filed before April 15, 2009. I would appreciate information on this if anyone has good info.

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